so pete and i are chatting about ancient drama, nothing worth going into, but it brought up an interesting question. i guess it's almost a trite topic to debate but i've been thinking about it lately. how well do you really know someone?
my argument is that no matter what you think you know about someone, you don't ever really know them - you know what they let you know. despite hours of conversation, deep secrets revealed, the ability to complete sentences, it could be only a slice of the pie that they've carefully chosen to reveal.
i mean, think about it - is there anyone who knows every single about you? your best friend, your boy/girlfriend, your brother or sister, your parents? i doubt it. and if there is, it's because you let them, you chose to tell them everything.
how can you ever be sure what percentage you're getting? what criteria allow you to sleep at night? is it "oh, they are my best friend, they wouldn't hide anything from me." or "we've been dating for a year and a half. he's not that kind of person, she would never lie to me, blah blah blah..."
i think you'd be surprised. and isn't it just when you think you've got someone pegged, they slip up and allow one of the things they've chosen to bury surface?
the opposite argument, from pete: "all secrets stink. and eventually they all rise."
i'm not sure. flip through all the files in your head of the things you know about the people around you. then think about what they know about you. think the files are complete?
do you think you know what you're getting yourself into?
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
donald ducking it* and other things not to do on a street of curtainless windows
i now live in an apartment on the second floor of a five-story apartment building whose living room picture windows face the bedroom and living room windows of another five-story apartment building across the street. this is the first time i've lived in such a large buildling and one in which all the windows face out to the street.
and the best part is, no one closes their curtains, so in lieu of television (which we don't have), one can be entertained by the goings-on of the across-the-street neighbors.
it's kind of cool. these people's day-to-day activities range from the relatively normal to the quite strange. normal: the other day an older woman wearing a hot pink shirt leaned out her window in the morning to greet the day. today, a man two-windows up mopped his hardwood floors. strange: from a window on the fifth floor earlier this evening, every few minutes, a few bright camera flashes. we couldn't see any sort of photo shoot set-up - so either someone's taking mystery pictures or attempting to fix a broken strobe light.
but it's a double-edged sword. i reazlied only a few days ago, just after a shower, that if i can see into all my neighbors windows they can also see into mine. someone has probably been getting a free show for a week and a half.
i wonder what the neighbors think of us? if they spend any time gazing into our windows, they probably just see three girls glued to their computers. sometimes its hard to pull yourself away from online scrabble.
*"donald ducking it," to those unfamiliar, is wearing a shirt but no garment on the lower half of the body, like donald duck. the style is almost always completely awkward and therefore not advised.
and the best part is, no one closes their curtains, so in lieu of television (which we don't have), one can be entertained by the goings-on of the across-the-street neighbors.
it's kind of cool. these people's day-to-day activities range from the relatively normal to the quite strange. normal: the other day an older woman wearing a hot pink shirt leaned out her window in the morning to greet the day. today, a man two-windows up mopped his hardwood floors. strange: from a window on the fifth floor earlier this evening, every few minutes, a few bright camera flashes. we couldn't see any sort of photo shoot set-up - so either someone's taking mystery pictures or attempting to fix a broken strobe light.
but it's a double-edged sword. i reazlied only a few days ago, just after a shower, that if i can see into all my neighbors windows they can also see into mine. someone has probably been getting a free show for a week and a half.
i wonder what the neighbors think of us? if they spend any time gazing into our windows, they probably just see three girls glued to their computers. sometimes its hard to pull yourself away from online scrabble.
*"donald ducking it," to those unfamiliar, is wearing a shirt but no garment on the lower half of the body, like donald duck. the style is almost always completely awkward and therefore not advised.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
i'd follow you down but not that far
in an effort to counteract itune's trenchant attack on my ability to withstand repetition, i've decided to bombard it with new music. by mathematical odds, if i put enough songs that are a.) good and b.) new, itunes will be forced to stop playing the crap it usually plays.
today, as a law-abiding "internetizen" (a portmanteau of internet + citizen! I'M CLEVER.), among other downloads, i fairly exchanged 11.28 American Dollars for the privilege of listening to and burning up to ten times "20th century masters: the millenium collection: gin blossums."
this brings up a few issues. first of all, from what i could surmise on itunes, the gin blossums had one album. but guess how many greatest hits albums they had? no less than two. is it me or does this seem a bit out of proportion?
but anyway, who doesn't love the gin blossums? there are at least six excellent songs out of eleven, that among these:
hey jealousy
follow you down
til i hear it from you
allison road
found out about you
until i fall away
ALL of those songs are amazing. and you have to figure, for a band that only put on one or maybe two albums, to have six hits is some pretty excellent batting.
i love the gin blossums for one reason only, the same reason the two-disc "buzz" compilation album is one of my favorites: nostalgia. the ages of about 10-15 or 16, for whatever reason, were the most impressionable on me as far as music goes. the gin blossums feel like the mid-nineties, and the mid-nineties were when i was "growing up." which means the gin blossums feel like growing up. they will always be perfect.
so i'm going to go rock out and try to rage against the party shuffle. fun game: see if you can spot the place in this entry that is influenced by the language style of the declaration of independence!
PEACE.
today, as a law-abiding "internetizen" (a portmanteau of internet + citizen! I'M CLEVER.), among other downloads, i fairly exchanged 11.28 American Dollars for the privilege of listening to and burning up to ten times "20th century masters: the millenium collection: gin blossums."
this brings up a few issues. first of all, from what i could surmise on itunes, the gin blossums had one album. but guess how many greatest hits albums they had? no less than two. is it me or does this seem a bit out of proportion?
but anyway, who doesn't love the gin blossums? there are at least six excellent songs out of eleven, that among these:
hey jealousy
follow you down
til i hear it from you
allison road
found out about you
until i fall away
ALL of those songs are amazing. and you have to figure, for a band that only put on one or maybe two albums, to have six hits is some pretty excellent batting.
i love the gin blossums for one reason only, the same reason the two-disc "buzz" compilation album is one of my favorites: nostalgia. the ages of about 10-15 or 16, for whatever reason, were the most impressionable on me as far as music goes. the gin blossums feel like the mid-nineties, and the mid-nineties were when i was "growing up." which means the gin blossums feel like growing up. they will always be perfect.
so i'm going to go rock out and try to rage against the party shuffle. fun game: see if you can spot the place in this entry that is influenced by the language style of the declaration of independence!
PEACE.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
itunes party shuffle sucks ass
lovely language skills in the title, i know. but who else is fed up with party shuffle?
almost everyone i know that listens to digital music and owns a computer has itunes, and everyone i know that has itunes HATES party shuffle.
i want to like party shuffle. i do. sometimes i can't decide on a particular artist to focus my ears on, and i'd like someone else to do that work for me. or i realize that as a music listener i am very predictable - i listen to probably the same 100 or so songs all the time. honestly, sometimes i'll hear a song play on my computer and actually think "where the hell did THAT come from?" so the party shuffle is a good way of brushing the dust off the songs that are good but most of the time forgotten.
but it's crap, and here's why: it plays the same songs all the time, too. i have almost 3000 songs and i swear i hear the same ones all the time. yes, i know that the best of frank sinatra is a 2-disc set so maybe i am asking for it, but how is it that in the list of 100 upcoming random songs, there are ALWAYS six or seven from old blue eyes? i don't see how it's mathematically possible.
alicia often utilized her party shuffle feature, and i swear that all we ever listened to was the song "we look like giants" by death cab for cutie. look it up and i bet it's in her top played list. it has to be. that, and madonna. everytime you turn around you're hearing that "this used to be my playground..." song.
so what's the problem? i checked my preferences to see if i had any funny settings checked accidentally, like "play more annoying songs constantly," or "i LOVE vertical horizon, play them 1000 times a day please." (okay, i'll admit that if that box actually existed, i'd check it.)
you can select "play higher rated songs more often," but i don't have this checked and i only have one rated song ("livin on the edge," aerosmith. 5 stars. why?). you can also adjust how "random" your random shuffle is - it can be more likely or less likely to play your favorite songs. mine is set right at the middle on "random." so, theoretically, every song should have the opportunity to be played, right?
not quite. apparently, party shuffle isn't random in the sense that each song has equal odds of getting played. the shuffle function on the ipod chooses songs by an alogrithm that uses no replacement - meaning that every song will be played, to the end of the entire library, before any are repeated (like choosing cards from a deck until it's gone.) however, the party shuffle feature works WITH replacement, meaning each time a song is played, when it's finished it is tossed back into the pot, with equal chances of being chosen again as a song that hasn't been played. so the party shuffle is only random so far as the number of upcoming songs you choose to show.
likely story. i think apple is lying. even with replacement, it seems like with songs numbering in the thousands, artist repeats would be sparse.
we're thinking either a.) this "randomness" is a lie. apple is actually, without telling you, trying to figure out which songs you play often and bringing you into a self-perpetuating loop by playing those most-often-played songs more often. sooner or later you'll be sitting motionless at your desk, eyes glazed over and fixed at a crack in the wall, drooling, thinking only "how the HELL did i end up with the backstreet boys on my computer, and will i have to listen to only "i want it that way," for the rest of eternity?
or maybe any even slimier scheme - a conspiracy with certain artists to write code that plays their songs more often.
jocelyn's thoughts:
"i don't mind so much hearing fall out boy all the time, but my party shuffle really doesn't need to be playing the RENT soundtrack all the time. it gets a little embarrassing."
so yeah, i'm not the only one who feels like something is up. if you can shed some light on the party shuffle mystery, please do. until then i'll be listening to "we look like giants," until i forget my name.
almost everyone i know that listens to digital music and owns a computer has itunes, and everyone i know that has itunes HATES party shuffle.
i want to like party shuffle. i do. sometimes i can't decide on a particular artist to focus my ears on, and i'd like someone else to do that work for me. or i realize that as a music listener i am very predictable - i listen to probably the same 100 or so songs all the time. honestly, sometimes i'll hear a song play on my computer and actually think "where the hell did THAT come from?" so the party shuffle is a good way of brushing the dust off the songs that are good but most of the time forgotten.
but it's crap, and here's why: it plays the same songs all the time, too. i have almost 3000 songs and i swear i hear the same ones all the time. yes, i know that the best of frank sinatra is a 2-disc set so maybe i am asking for it, but how is it that in the list of 100 upcoming random songs, there are ALWAYS six or seven from old blue eyes? i don't see how it's mathematically possible.
alicia often utilized her party shuffle feature, and i swear that all we ever listened to was the song "we look like giants" by death cab for cutie. look it up and i bet it's in her top played list. it has to be. that, and madonna. everytime you turn around you're hearing that "this used to be my playground..." song.
so what's the problem? i checked my preferences to see if i had any funny settings checked accidentally, like "play more annoying songs constantly," or "i LOVE vertical horizon, play them 1000 times a day please." (okay, i'll admit that if that box actually existed, i'd check it.)
you can select "play higher rated songs more often," but i don't have this checked and i only have one rated song ("livin on the edge," aerosmith. 5 stars. why?). you can also adjust how "random" your random shuffle is - it can be more likely or less likely to play your favorite songs. mine is set right at the middle on "random." so, theoretically, every song should have the opportunity to be played, right?
not quite. apparently, party shuffle isn't random in the sense that each song has equal odds of getting played. the shuffle function on the ipod chooses songs by an alogrithm that uses no replacement - meaning that every song will be played, to the end of the entire library, before any are repeated (like choosing cards from a deck until it's gone.) however, the party shuffle feature works WITH replacement, meaning each time a song is played, when it's finished it is tossed back into the pot, with equal chances of being chosen again as a song that hasn't been played. so the party shuffle is only random so far as the number of upcoming songs you choose to show.
likely story. i think apple is lying. even with replacement, it seems like with songs numbering in the thousands, artist repeats would be sparse.
we're thinking either a.) this "randomness" is a lie. apple is actually, without telling you, trying to figure out which songs you play often and bringing you into a self-perpetuating loop by playing those most-often-played songs more often. sooner or later you'll be sitting motionless at your desk, eyes glazed over and fixed at a crack in the wall, drooling, thinking only "how the HELL did i end up with the backstreet boys on my computer, and will i have to listen to only "i want it that way," for the rest of eternity?
or maybe any even slimier scheme - a conspiracy with certain artists to write code that plays their songs more often.
jocelyn's thoughts:
"i don't mind so much hearing fall out boy all the time, but my party shuffle really doesn't need to be playing the RENT soundtrack all the time. it gets a little embarrassing."
so yeah, i'm not the only one who feels like something is up. if you can shed some light on the party shuffle mystery, please do. until then i'll be listening to "we look like giants," until i forget my name.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
a few words on the death of myron cope
at two points this morning i was describing the intricacies of the pittsburgh patois to my less yinzer prague friends. i think a while back we all discussed the fact that none of us seem to have regional accents, although apparently i say the word "potraviny*" a little funny because on several occasions it has led to these discussions on "pittsburghese." it's difficult, when put on the spot, for me to explain the differences (though when i'm drunk i'm quite fluent in pittsburghese).
i realized i could have just pointed to the apotheosis of the "yinzer," myron cope.
myron cope passed away last wednesday, february 27th. the four known regular readers of this blog run the gamut from those who are quite familiar with myron cope (alicia), those who have felt his influence, if only subconsciously (debbie, lori) to those who would not know a terrible towel if it smacked them in the face (nick).
here is the pittsburgh post-gazette's, in my opinion quite well-written, obituary for mr. cope:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08058/860750-13.stm.
so now we're all on the same page.
myron cope is synonomous with the pittsburgh steelers. he's their voice (a nasaly, scrappy southwestern pennsylvania yowl), he invented the "terrible towel" (which, if you're unfamiliar, is a bright gold tea-towel meant to be waved in a helicopter style, making a circular motion with the wrist, above one's head in order to show appreciation for a good play to rouse the excitement of players and fellow fans. it's nearly impossible to imagine a steelers' game without the sea of gold they create). he coined the term "immaculate reception," for the best-known play in steelers' history. before he retired in 2005, it was common practice for many to turn down the sound on the TV broadcast for the game and turn up cope's show on WDVE**.
if you're a steelers fan, i challenge you to imagine steelers football without myron cope; it can't be done.
his death has got me thinking about a few things. first, his accent, as i've already said. quintessentially pittsburgh in a time when regional accents like ours are becoming more scarce. and he's added quite the roster of terms to our vocabulary, most notably "yoi" and "double yoi." (i mentioned mike lange below; pittsburgh has been blessed with very linguistically influential broadcasters.)
secondly, at the city's memorial service for mr. cope, fans outside the city-county building downtown waved terrible towels and chanted some of his catchphrases. this sounds like the most ideal funeral service ever. even during a moment of silence, the towels were still waving.
third, it got me thinking about the vicissitudes of a sports town. i began watching football when i was about 9, so you can say i've been a fan for the better part of fifteen years. the steelers franchise has quite a penchant for stability; in all my years of watching football, we had the same coach, bill cowher. last year he was gone. now with someone as important to the idea of steelers football as myron cope to be gone, it makes it a little more apparent that we're entering a new "era."
i haven't been watching long enough to remember a different era of steelers football, like those who are old enough to remember the steelers of the 70s. but i'd imagine it's going to be quite strange. i don't know how someone remains a fan of a team for so long without being very sad about their nostalgic feelings for bygone eras of that team. i can't imagine how weird it would be for someone who had listened to his broadcasts to suddenly hear someone else's voice calling out plays.
for the meantime, cope's influence on the steelers and pittsburgh won't change. but someday it will. the things we associate with the steelers will be completely different. i know it might sound stupid, like it's just a sport, but i think anyone who has a hometown team can understand what a huge part of a city's culture its sports teams are. i'm reaching the point where i can start to remember a time when things were different, and that's odd. i suppose at this age that starts to happen with a lot of other things.
anyway. my last point about myron cope is this: what a wonderful time to be in pittsburgh. sad, yes, but one of my favorite things about pittsburgh is the camaraderie. pittsburghers have a way of pulling together in times of happiness and equally in times of sadness. i think that's really important in a hometown and it's absence is something that makes prague feel a bit empty. i'm not sure if i can quite put it into words, but i've never felt more at home than the celebration after the steelers' superbowl win in 2006. i've also never felt more at home than standing on the sidewalk, with a bunch of strangers, watching our new mayor bob o'connor's funeral procession slide down grant street last september.
this was a bit rambling, but the point is: he'll be missed.
"bye now!"
*potraviny in czech means food or groceries, although i think it has taken on the colloquial meaning of "grocer's." basically, there are hundreds of small convenience stores in prague and they usually list on their signs what they provide: cigarettes, alcohol, drinks, fruits, vegetables, etc. i'm no expert but i think groceries, or "potraviny" has become the umbrella term for all these offerings and therefore appears on most if not all convenience store signs. i don't know if czech speakers refer to them this way, but us english speakers with a dearth of czech knowledge use it as a noun to mean "convenience store."
**is this common practice in any other major sports market? because not only is it done for steelers games to hear cope's show, i know many penguins fans who will tune into mike lange's radio broadcast instead of listening to the announcers on TV. no one watches pirates games on TV, so to my knowledge there is no baseball equivalent.
i realized i could have just pointed to the apotheosis of the "yinzer," myron cope.
myron cope passed away last wednesday, february 27th. the four known regular readers of this blog run the gamut from those who are quite familiar with myron cope (alicia), those who have felt his influence, if only subconsciously (debbie, lori) to those who would not know a terrible towel if it smacked them in the face (nick).
here is the pittsburgh post-gazette's, in my opinion quite well-written, obituary for mr. cope:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08058/860750-13.stm.
so now we're all on the same page.
myron cope is synonomous with the pittsburgh steelers. he's their voice (a nasaly, scrappy southwestern pennsylvania yowl), he invented the "terrible towel" (which, if you're unfamiliar, is a bright gold tea-towel meant to be waved in a helicopter style, making a circular motion with the wrist, above one's head in order to show appreciation for a good play to rouse the excitement of players and fellow fans. it's nearly impossible to imagine a steelers' game without the sea of gold they create). he coined the term "immaculate reception," for the best-known play in steelers' history. before he retired in 2005, it was common practice for many to turn down the sound on the TV broadcast for the game and turn up cope's show on WDVE**.
if you're a steelers fan, i challenge you to imagine steelers football without myron cope; it can't be done.
his death has got me thinking about a few things. first, his accent, as i've already said. quintessentially pittsburgh in a time when regional accents like ours are becoming more scarce. and he's added quite the roster of terms to our vocabulary, most notably "yoi" and "double yoi." (i mentioned mike lange below; pittsburgh has been blessed with very linguistically influential broadcasters.)
secondly, at the city's memorial service for mr. cope, fans outside the city-county building downtown waved terrible towels and chanted some of his catchphrases. this sounds like the most ideal funeral service ever. even during a moment of silence, the towels were still waving.
third, it got me thinking about the vicissitudes of a sports town. i began watching football when i was about 9, so you can say i've been a fan for the better part of fifteen years. the steelers franchise has quite a penchant for stability; in all my years of watching football, we had the same coach, bill cowher. last year he was gone. now with someone as important to the idea of steelers football as myron cope to be gone, it makes it a little more apparent that we're entering a new "era."
i haven't been watching long enough to remember a different era of steelers football, like those who are old enough to remember the steelers of the 70s. but i'd imagine it's going to be quite strange. i don't know how someone remains a fan of a team for so long without being very sad about their nostalgic feelings for bygone eras of that team. i can't imagine how weird it would be for someone who had listened to his broadcasts to suddenly hear someone else's voice calling out plays.
for the meantime, cope's influence on the steelers and pittsburgh won't change. but someday it will. the things we associate with the steelers will be completely different. i know it might sound stupid, like it's just a sport, but i think anyone who has a hometown team can understand what a huge part of a city's culture its sports teams are. i'm reaching the point where i can start to remember a time when things were different, and that's odd. i suppose at this age that starts to happen with a lot of other things.
anyway. my last point about myron cope is this: what a wonderful time to be in pittsburgh. sad, yes, but one of my favorite things about pittsburgh is the camaraderie. pittsburghers have a way of pulling together in times of happiness and equally in times of sadness. i think that's really important in a hometown and it's absence is something that makes prague feel a bit empty. i'm not sure if i can quite put it into words, but i've never felt more at home than the celebration after the steelers' superbowl win in 2006. i've also never felt more at home than standing on the sidewalk, with a bunch of strangers, watching our new mayor bob o'connor's funeral procession slide down grant street last september.
this was a bit rambling, but the point is: he'll be missed.
"bye now!"
*potraviny in czech means food or groceries, although i think it has taken on the colloquial meaning of "grocer's." basically, there are hundreds of small convenience stores in prague and they usually list on their signs what they provide: cigarettes, alcohol, drinks, fruits, vegetables, etc. i'm no expert but i think groceries, or "potraviny" has become the umbrella term for all these offerings and therefore appears on most if not all convenience store signs. i don't know if czech speakers refer to them this way, but us english speakers with a dearth of czech knowledge use it as a noun to mean "convenience store."
**is this common practice in any other major sports market? because not only is it done for steelers games to hear cope's show, i know many penguins fans who will tune into mike lange's radio broadcast instead of listening to the announcers on TV. no one watches pirates games on TV, so to my knowledge there is no baseball equivalent.
Friday, February 29, 2008
i love brussel sprouts and other europe revelations
living in europe has caused me to do a lot of things i never considered before. for instance, drinking tea when one is not sick. drinking alone (not tea.) using applicator-less tampons.
i've become a lot more lax in the frequency of taking showers; chances are, if you've skipped one you are still nowhere near as redolent as the better part of the czech population riding the metro on that given day.
today for lunch at school we had "kureci maso" or if you're anglophilic, "chicken meat," rice with veggies mixed in and some sort of gravy sauce. as i was picking through my rice, i saw it: and i panicked. a brussel sprout.
i have never in my life eaten a brussel sprout; in fact, it is the only food i've have been cultured to fear. that's a lie, there's two: brussel sprouts and liver and onions. everyone i've ever met who has had these two foods finds them disgusting. my dad hated brussel sprouts, so we never had them at home, and after i "grew up" it never occurred to me to try them because i was sure i'd hate them.
apparently i was all worked up for nothing because they taste exactly as they look: like tiny balls of lettuce.
i was wondering today what changes my friends at home might notice after not having seen me for almost a year. i don't think i've changed much, but i probably have. maybe i will be out of touch with pittsburgh when i return.
you know, beyond smelling a little funky and having a newfound love for ostracized vegetables.
i've become a lot more lax in the frequency of taking showers; chances are, if you've skipped one you are still nowhere near as redolent as the better part of the czech population riding the metro on that given day.
today for lunch at school we had "kureci maso" or if you're anglophilic, "chicken meat," rice with veggies mixed in and some sort of gravy sauce. as i was picking through my rice, i saw it: and i panicked. a brussel sprout.
i have never in my life eaten a brussel sprout; in fact, it is the only food i've have been cultured to fear. that's a lie, there's two: brussel sprouts and liver and onions. everyone i've ever met who has had these two foods finds them disgusting. my dad hated brussel sprouts, so we never had them at home, and after i "grew up" it never occurred to me to try them because i was sure i'd hate them.
apparently i was all worked up for nothing because they taste exactly as they look: like tiny balls of lettuce.
i was wondering today what changes my friends at home might notice after not having seen me for almost a year. i don't think i've changed much, but i probably have. maybe i will be out of touch with pittsburgh when i return.
you know, beyond smelling a little funky and having a newfound love for ostracized vegetables.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
got nothing to do today but smile
i had quite a biting rant prepared on becoming legally employed in the EU (which i'm certain will resurface at some point, probably this week when lucka finds yet another way to delay my application for a work permit), but i suddenly find myself devoid of all negative feeling.
this sunday afternoon, february 23, 2008, it is 61 degrees farenheit in prague, which almost certainly has to be a lie - i would put it at at least 70 degrees. it's by far the warmest and most pleasant day i can remember since i've been here. almost immediately upon our arrival in september it was cold, chilly and rainy everyday and it only got colder.
it hasn't exactly been a cold winter, but it's been cold enough. (apparently, this october and november were colder on average than december and january were. one of my students told me this and i can't really be bothered to look it up; just take my word that its more or less true). the two times i can actually remember thinking "boy it is fucking cold" were the week leading up to and surrounding christmas, and last week.
otherwise it's been positively balmy.
i was on my way to use the internet at jama. i made it a few blocks down krizikova and realized i had left our windows open and thought it might be prudent, given the robbery a few weeks back, to close them. on my way i figured, why not try the internet in the park?
which has led to the greatest idea i've had in weeks, though not really revolutionary -- get a beer at the potraviny and use the internet in the park. lovely!
i don't think i've been in a better mood in weeks. there are kids rollerblading, people are out on balconies. i walked over to the park on the other side of our apartment building to give the internet a whirl there, and on my way back i almost said out loud "FUCK i'm hot." in a sweatshirt. it's wonderful.
this is my favorite day of the year. almost no one is in a bad mood on the first really warm day. march is probably going to end up being a bitch, but today (and this week at least), you can get a beer, drink it outside (no open container laws! what a utopia the czech republic is) and not really be mad or upset about anything. wonderful.
and meanwhile, it's 15 degrees and snowy in pittsburgh! haha.
this sunday afternoon, february 23, 2008, it is 61 degrees farenheit in prague, which almost certainly has to be a lie - i would put it at at least 70 degrees. it's by far the warmest and most pleasant day i can remember since i've been here. almost immediately upon our arrival in september it was cold, chilly and rainy everyday and it only got colder.
it hasn't exactly been a cold winter, but it's been cold enough. (apparently, this october and november were colder on average than december and january were. one of my students told me this and i can't really be bothered to look it up; just take my word that its more or less true). the two times i can actually remember thinking "boy it is fucking cold" were the week leading up to and surrounding christmas, and last week.
otherwise it's been positively balmy.
i was on my way to use the internet at jama. i made it a few blocks down krizikova and realized i had left our windows open and thought it might be prudent, given the robbery a few weeks back, to close them. on my way i figured, why not try the internet in the park?
which has led to the greatest idea i've had in weeks, though not really revolutionary -- get a beer at the potraviny and use the internet in the park. lovely!
i don't think i've been in a better mood in weeks. there are kids rollerblading, people are out on balconies. i walked over to the park on the other side of our apartment building to give the internet a whirl there, and on my way back i almost said out loud "FUCK i'm hot." in a sweatshirt. it's wonderful.
this is my favorite day of the year. almost no one is in a bad mood on the first really warm day. march is probably going to end up being a bitch, but today (and this week at least), you can get a beer, drink it outside (no open container laws! what a utopia the czech republic is) and not really be mad or upset about anything. wonderful.
and meanwhile, it's 15 degrees and snowy in pittsburgh! haha.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
if you want a show, just let me know and i'll sing in your ear again*
you know what's embarassing? crying on an airport shuttle bus. because there's no way to hide it, really. shuttles are always crowded and the seats are arranged in such a way that you are forced to face your copassengers. so no matter what you do, they know you are crying. and crying people (especially crying people that are alone) don't do anything but make everyone else SUPER uncomfortable.
and they were probably all thinking, "seriously? who ACTUALLY cries at the airport?" then they look around to see if there are movie cameras and they've somehow unknowingly stumbled onto the set of a romantic comedy.
at least i made it out of the terminal. right? that would have been worse.
i don't really ever cry, so when i do i have no idea how to handle it. i suppose first i try to decide why exactly i'm crying. it's not because he's gone because that has happened before. maybe it's because last time, in the back of my mind, i knew i would see him again, and maybe this time i don't know that.
actually i think i was crying because life is just not fair. which sounds horribly childish. that is a lesson i have supposedly learned before, but maybe i hadn't.
it's not fair that i cannot legally work in europe. it's not fair that i spent an entire night trying to think of a way that i could but came up with nothing. it's not fair that relationships have to be decided by arbitrary things like geography. it's not fair that something like that makes it over before it starts. it's not fair that, because of airport security, you can no longer run to the gate to stop someone from boarding a plane. it's not fair that doing that probably wouldn't work anyway.
it's not fair that i couldn't think of something to say that could fix it.
and it's not fair that maybe that thing is not what he wanted anyway. it's not fair that the nonexistant fix-all might not actually fix all.
maybe i'm naive but i didn't think it worked this way. but maybe it does, and maybe that's the lesson.
so i was sitting in a seat, freezing, tired, hoping my phone would vibrate (but it didn't), crying like a child with a child's excuse for it. life's not fair.
i don't know how to conclude this, except to say that after i decided what i was crying about, i tried to think of something else in order to stop. there was a couple across the way who had just arrived from ireland and the woman had the most beautiful accent. so i listened for a while. but it just made it worse. somehow, listening to this woman say "wednesday" made me cry even more.
i wish i had an accent. life's not fair.
*this title is a line from "the drugs don't work," by the verve.
and they were probably all thinking, "seriously? who ACTUALLY cries at the airport?" then they look around to see if there are movie cameras and they've somehow unknowingly stumbled onto the set of a romantic comedy.
at least i made it out of the terminal. right? that would have been worse.
i don't really ever cry, so when i do i have no idea how to handle it. i suppose first i try to decide why exactly i'm crying. it's not because he's gone because that has happened before. maybe it's because last time, in the back of my mind, i knew i would see him again, and maybe this time i don't know that.
actually i think i was crying because life is just not fair. which sounds horribly childish. that is a lesson i have supposedly learned before, but maybe i hadn't.
it's not fair that i cannot legally work in europe. it's not fair that i spent an entire night trying to think of a way that i could but came up with nothing. it's not fair that relationships have to be decided by arbitrary things like geography. it's not fair that something like that makes it over before it starts. it's not fair that, because of airport security, you can no longer run to the gate to stop someone from boarding a plane. it's not fair that doing that probably wouldn't work anyway.
it's not fair that i couldn't think of something to say that could fix it.
and it's not fair that maybe that thing is not what he wanted anyway. it's not fair that the nonexistant fix-all might not actually fix all.
maybe i'm naive but i didn't think it worked this way. but maybe it does, and maybe that's the lesson.
so i was sitting in a seat, freezing, tired, hoping my phone would vibrate (but it didn't), crying like a child with a child's excuse for it. life's not fair.
i don't know how to conclude this, except to say that after i decided what i was crying about, i tried to think of something else in order to stop. there was a couple across the way who had just arrived from ireland and the woman had the most beautiful accent. so i listened for a while. but it just made it worse. somehow, listening to this woman say "wednesday" made me cry even more.
i wish i had an accent. life's not fair.
*this title is a line from "the drugs don't work," by the verve.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
a short note about lists and my inability to properly utilize them
my memory is slipping. lately i'll think of something good, maybe an idea for a blog or some place i want to travel, or i'll stumble on a word while i'm reading that i want to look up*, and i'll say to myself - i won't forget this one. how hard can it possibly be to remember that i want to look up "abseiling?"
pretty tough, apparently, because i just had to refer to notes to remember it. and that happens all the time now. if i don't write something down, it's even money that it'll be lost forever within 5-7 minutes. then it will occur to me later -- not what i wanted to remember, but in the form of that nervous, empty feeling you get when you realize you forgot something. then, usually, more energy than is proportional to the importance of the forgotten fact is used trying to remember it.
so i've resorted to making lists. my plan was to have several lists that are constantly updated, so i'll have one for "travel destinations" and one for "words to look up," another for "books i want to read," and maybe "blog ideas so nick stops whining about it not having been updated in a week."
the thing is, i'm crap at making lists! i get performance anxiety or something, i don't know, but when i sit down to write down all the things i've thought of, i suddenly can't remember them. then i end up with a list that is two items long or that ends up a lot more disappointing in quality than what i imagined it would be. (if you saw my "europe 2008 goals" list on the facebook you'll know what i mean.)
for instance, i wanted to start a list of "things i would like to see." obviously there are many but when i sat to write the list, all i could come up with was "space shuttle launch." (but, good one, right?).
i am also attempting to write for a friend a sort of "pittsburgh travel guide." i didn't know where to start really so i began making lists, neighborhood by neighborhood, of all the places i think someone visiting pittsburgh for the first time should see. now, pittsburgh is a place i like to think i know a good deal about, having lived there for 23 years. lord knows i can talk about it for hours. but when i sat to write this list, i got nowhere. all the places sounded lame and stupid, and it was rather short.
AND, even if i do get a successful list written, i don't use it! last week i made a shopping list of things i needed at tesco's (unnecessary possessive) and forgot to bring it. then, instead of going to tesco, i went to billa -- only to end up buying just ONE of the things on my list. fittingly i can't remember what else was on it now, but i walked out of the billa that day with only a bag of five ridiculously overpriced disposable pink razors.
i did make one quite good list today that i intend on using, and it is "blog ideas." however, my memory is already failing me on just what i meant by some of the list items. it is:
collections - ppl
itunes shuffle
immigrant (just one? and what about him/her?)
british eng.
the woods (rather unspecific!)
dealbreakers (okay i remember EXACTLY what i want to say about this one, actually)
and that was only about an hour ago. let's see what survives the night.
*my dictionary is being held hostage, and last night i found out USED, by drew and sergio! specifically "oh, i've been carrying it around in my bag. it's crap though. it's missing words."
pretty tough, apparently, because i just had to refer to notes to remember it. and that happens all the time now. if i don't write something down, it's even money that it'll be lost forever within 5-7 minutes. then it will occur to me later -- not what i wanted to remember, but in the form of that nervous, empty feeling you get when you realize you forgot something. then, usually, more energy than is proportional to the importance of the forgotten fact is used trying to remember it.
so i've resorted to making lists. my plan was to have several lists that are constantly updated, so i'll have one for "travel destinations" and one for "words to look up," another for "books i want to read," and maybe "blog ideas so nick stops whining about it not having been updated in a week."
the thing is, i'm crap at making lists! i get performance anxiety or something, i don't know, but when i sit down to write down all the things i've thought of, i suddenly can't remember them. then i end up with a list that is two items long or that ends up a lot more disappointing in quality than what i imagined it would be. (if you saw my "europe 2008 goals" list on the facebook you'll know what i mean.)
for instance, i wanted to start a list of "things i would like to see." obviously there are many but when i sat to write the list, all i could come up with was "space shuttle launch." (but, good one, right?).
i am also attempting to write for a friend a sort of "pittsburgh travel guide." i didn't know where to start really so i began making lists, neighborhood by neighborhood, of all the places i think someone visiting pittsburgh for the first time should see. now, pittsburgh is a place i like to think i know a good deal about, having lived there for 23 years. lord knows i can talk about it for hours. but when i sat to write this list, i got nowhere. all the places sounded lame and stupid, and it was rather short.
AND, even if i do get a successful list written, i don't use it! last week i made a shopping list of things i needed at tesco's (unnecessary possessive) and forgot to bring it. then, instead of going to tesco, i went to billa -- only to end up buying just ONE of the things on my list. fittingly i can't remember what else was on it now, but i walked out of the billa that day with only a bag of five ridiculously overpriced disposable pink razors.
i did make one quite good list today that i intend on using, and it is "blog ideas." however, my memory is already failing me on just what i meant by some of the list items. it is:
collections - ppl
itunes shuffle
immigrant (just one? and what about him/her?)
british eng.
the woods (rather unspecific!)
dealbreakers (okay i remember EXACTLY what i want to say about this one, actually)
and that was only about an hour ago. let's see what survives the night.
*my dictionary is being held hostage, and last night i found out USED, by drew and sergio! specifically "oh, i've been carrying it around in my bag. it's crap though. it's missing words."
Saturday, February 09, 2008
in holland*, everyone is an expert in paintings and tulips
prague is getting boring. not the city, i suppose (i love it here), but it's just falling into routine. maybe its the time of year or just the current state of my jobs, life, lack of hobbies, etc., but i feel like i'm entering a rut.
on the bright side, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. (what a terrible mixed metaphor)...lori, anna, debs and i are going to amsterdam for the weekend of march 14-16. this will be my first big trip since i've been in europe, which is pathetic and exciting all at once. i don't know what there's to do in amsterdam (other than the obvious, which we will be doing... use your imagination.)
i've decided that enough is enough, i'm going to start spending my money on travelling instead of whatever dumb shit i find to blow my paycheck on here in prague.
we're also pretty certainly going to dublin in june to see radiohead. the tickets are 53 pounds (i can't even make the pound symbol on my computer, thats how expensive they are). how do people in GB live? i have never spent that much on a concert, ever. i don't know if this is what you usually pay but JEEZ. that's around $120. out of control. however, i like radiohead, i want to see dublin, and this is a good excuse to waste that money, i suppose.
(however, i decided recently that i HATE going to concerts. it's always crowded and you don't get anywhere close to the stage. the opening bands are usually crap, unless you get lucky. and the band never plays the songs that everyone wants to hear, they play the songs from whichever album they're promoting, usually the newest. no one wants to hear that crap. so you stand there, barely able to see the band, getting bumped into by obnoxious teenagers, listening to songs you don't even want to hear. lame. dear radiohead, please play high and dry and will be forgiven.)
all other proceeds leftover from the next few months paychecks will be going to the "summer 2008 travelling fund." my educational obligations at both schools are over at the end of june. i want to ride on the trans-siberian railroad, hopefully to beijing (and coincidentally, the olympics will be there this summer... i wonder if that'll coincide?) i was originally planning to fly back to the states from there and be done with my year abroad, but now i'm not so sure.
in a perfect world, i'd like to travel for the two months remaining in the summer (july and august); then, either start a job in a new country (italy? i hope i hope i hope) or go home. i don't know if this is financially possible. i guess we'll see what falls off the truck.
i had this feeling that i needed to see as much as possible in my year in prague, but i suppose thats not true. i was dead set on only being here a year, but i'm not anymore. i'll have plenty of time to get where i want to go - no sense squishing it into 6 months. however, i'm still tired of wasting my weekends not doing much else other than reading, laying around, taking naps and cleaning.
*i thought amsterdam was in the netherlands, and i never realized until i was corrected yesterday that the netherlands and holland are the same place. although, not really - holland is a province IN the netherlands. but for 24 hours, i thought my 16 years of education had failed me at the most basic geography.
also, the title of this blog is from the book "the fall" by albert camus and hopefully i didn't remember it wrong.
on the bright side, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. (what a terrible mixed metaphor)...lori, anna, debs and i are going to amsterdam for the weekend of march 14-16. this will be my first big trip since i've been in europe, which is pathetic and exciting all at once. i don't know what there's to do in amsterdam (other than the obvious, which we will be doing... use your imagination.)
i've decided that enough is enough, i'm going to start spending my money on travelling instead of whatever dumb shit i find to blow my paycheck on here in prague.
we're also pretty certainly going to dublin in june to see radiohead. the tickets are 53 pounds (i can't even make the pound symbol on my computer, thats how expensive they are). how do people in GB live? i have never spent that much on a concert, ever. i don't know if this is what you usually pay but JEEZ. that's around $120. out of control. however, i like radiohead, i want to see dublin, and this is a good excuse to waste that money, i suppose.
(however, i decided recently that i HATE going to concerts. it's always crowded and you don't get anywhere close to the stage. the opening bands are usually crap, unless you get lucky. and the band never plays the songs that everyone wants to hear, they play the songs from whichever album they're promoting, usually the newest. no one wants to hear that crap. so you stand there, barely able to see the band, getting bumped into by obnoxious teenagers, listening to songs you don't even want to hear. lame. dear radiohead, please play high and dry and will be forgiven.)
all other proceeds leftover from the next few months paychecks will be going to the "summer 2008 travelling fund." my educational obligations at both schools are over at the end of june. i want to ride on the trans-siberian railroad, hopefully to beijing (and coincidentally, the olympics will be there this summer... i wonder if that'll coincide?) i was originally planning to fly back to the states from there and be done with my year abroad, but now i'm not so sure.
in a perfect world, i'd like to travel for the two months remaining in the summer (july and august); then, either start a job in a new country (italy? i hope i hope i hope) or go home. i don't know if this is financially possible. i guess we'll see what falls off the truck.
i had this feeling that i needed to see as much as possible in my year in prague, but i suppose thats not true. i was dead set on only being here a year, but i'm not anymore. i'll have plenty of time to get where i want to go - no sense squishing it into 6 months. however, i'm still tired of wasting my weekends not doing much else other than reading, laying around, taking naps and cleaning.
*i thought amsterdam was in the netherlands, and i never realized until i was corrected yesterday that the netherlands and holland are the same place. although, not really - holland is a province IN the netherlands. but for 24 hours, i thought my 16 years of education had failed me at the most basic geography.
also, the title of this blog is from the book "the fall" by albert camus and hopefully i didn't remember it wrong.
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