Now that I've returned to the land/home of the free/brave, and because i don't currently have a job per se so i have a lot of free time on my hands, i've been considering what I'm returning to. Is the America of July 2009 better, worse or more or less the same as the America of August 2007? Have I upgraded or downgraded? Let's consider the facts.
Economy: I did some reading up on comparing the financial climate now to two years ago, and basically it was shitty then and it's shittier now. Also, two years ago i had a job and currently I'm unemployed.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Government: I don't care who you voted for in last years election, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief now that GWB is out of office.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Late Night Television: Conan on an hour earlier? Means I don't have to feel like I'm getting old because I can't stay up to watch Late Night. also, Andy is back! Sadly, after watching some of the shows, i'm wondering if Conan has lost his edge. I guess we'll need more time to give him a fair review, but some of the jokes are pretty terrible. And Jimmy Fallon's worst career move ever was leaving SNL. quit wasting my time.
verdict: EVEN MONEY.
Celebrity Deaths: of course there's MJ. we'll be bereft of not only a musical genius, but also of the endless stream of jokes at his expense. also, i'm still not 100% convinced that Alan Alda is alive.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Beer: Upon returning to the cradle of socialization, Oakland, I learned that most of the establishments that used to offer $1 beers have upped their asking price to $1.50. Gone are the days of a night out for less than $10. And legislators have done nothing to remedy the archaic alcohol laws in this state: I still can't walk down to the 7-11 to get a beer, and I can't walk down the street with an open container. how in the world am i supposed to be drunk all the time?
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Personal Effects: Two years ago when I moved away, I packed up most of my clothes and books to be stored in my mom's attic. At the time I figured I'd probably never touch most of those things again, that they would stay up there for twenty or thirty years and then my kids would find them and go "you used to wear THAT?" and we'd all have a good laugh and then i'd say something weird and crazy and pee my pants because by then hopefully i'll be senile. BUT, after unpacking all said belongings, i realized it's things i forgot i owned by I'm so glad I do! I found my Kordell Stewart jersey circa 1996, some sweet pajama pants, red rain boots and enough fleece blankets to build a badass living-room fort. It's like Christmas for free.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Mom and technology: Two years ago, my mom was essentially living in the year 1993. She had no idea about the internet, very little information about computers, had just got her first cell phone and didn't even have a debit card.
Tonight, however, I realized that she has learned how to text message. I'm proud of her but frankly it's a little bit of a pain in the ass; she texted me three times in a span of like 20 minutes tonight while she was at work asking about when I am free to get my hair cut.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Shaq: In August 2007, Shaq was gearing up for another season with the Miami Heat. In the previous season he had reached the milestone of 25,000 career points, but saw the Heat swept by the Bulls in the playoffs.
Now, however, in the summer of 2009, things are looking up. Even though he's super old (like 59), you know he and Lebron are going to crush peoples souls in Cleveland. Also, this year Shaq, like the rest of the world, discovered Twitter, letting not a day go by without gems such as "Oh lance armstrong i challenge you to a time trial anytime anywhere, i dnt smell fear do i, smmmm smmm dats the sniffn sound."
verdict: UPGRADE.
OVERALL ASSESSMENT:
After using my calculator machine to add up all the variables and hypothesizing with my very scientific method of evaluation, it looks like it's about even. America today is just as wonderful, or shitty, as it was two years ago. But if there's one thing we all should have learned from the Wizard of Oz, there's no place like home. I'd take a comparably shitty America over a normal or even above-average Europe.
Anyway... I'm glad to be back.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
girl talk playing tonight at the smash club
girl talk is coming back to pittsburgh on July 31, and thanks to my favorite pittsburgh boy coming up with a very thoughtful birthday gift, i'm gonna be there. i am brimming with the proverbial excitement, as the show i attended of his back in the summer of '07 was one of my favorite concert-going experiences ever.
girl talk has a special place in my heart for many reasons, most importantly because he is from pittsburgh. i did some cursory google-riffic research on him and he also seems like good people (though i would expect nothing less from a pittsburgher.) Greg Gillis was a biomedical engineering student turned researcher who did music as a weekend gig, never expecting it to take off the way it did.
he's a support of ALL music and has the utmost respect for the artists whose work he reinterprets. and hell, he bought Taco Bell for everyone at his May , 2008 show at Mr. Small's. what more could you want from a person, let alone a concert-going experience?
i also know a little bit better now how difficult it is to do what he does. thought it seems on the surface like he's merely taking other people's hard work and mashing it up, it's really a pretty intense creative process and technically very difficult.
i made friends with a guy in Prague who DJed the occasional set at a bar we used to frequent called Blind Eye. he did other shows around Prague but I only ever saw him at the BE. he gave my roommate and i once a rough tutorial on the program and equipment he uses to DJ, and it is hella complicated.
mash ups might be easy to do, but they seem insanely difficult to do well, and nearly impossible to do like Girl Talk does them.
and not only is he a talented artist, he's a unique performer. as he professes, it's not very interesting to watch a guy on stage clicking a mouse. since that's all he needs to do to produce the music for each show, he adds to it by going nuts onstage. he jumps in the crowd, brings the crowd onstage, strips down to his underwear...
the show i attended two summers ago was unreal. i didn't know what to expect, and as soon as the first notes boomed from the amps, the entire crowd broke out into the craziest, most perfect dance party ever. and it never lost energy.
the show this summer is at the Amphitheater at Station Square, which is a drastically different venue than Mr. Smalls; must less intimate, because of both size and the fact that it's outdoors. I'm not sure how Girl Talk's show will translate to an outside venue as I've never seen him at a festival.
the show is on July 31, and i believe the opening acts are "friends" including Wiz Khalifa and Don Caballero. I think the tickets are like $20 which, trust me, is totally worth it. see you there!
girl talk has a special place in my heart for many reasons, most importantly because he is from pittsburgh. i did some cursory google-riffic research on him and he also seems like good people (though i would expect nothing less from a pittsburgher.) Greg Gillis was a biomedical engineering student turned researcher who did music as a weekend gig, never expecting it to take off the way it did.
he's a support of ALL music and has the utmost respect for the artists whose work he reinterprets. and hell, he bought Taco Bell for everyone at his May , 2008 show at Mr. Small's. what more could you want from a person, let alone a concert-going experience?
i also know a little bit better now how difficult it is to do what he does. thought it seems on the surface like he's merely taking other people's hard work and mashing it up, it's really a pretty intense creative process and technically very difficult.
i made friends with a guy in Prague who DJed the occasional set at a bar we used to frequent called Blind Eye. he did other shows around Prague but I only ever saw him at the BE. he gave my roommate and i once a rough tutorial on the program and equipment he uses to DJ, and it is hella complicated.
mash ups might be easy to do, but they seem insanely difficult to do well, and nearly impossible to do like Girl Talk does them.
and not only is he a talented artist, he's a unique performer. as he professes, it's not very interesting to watch a guy on stage clicking a mouse. since that's all he needs to do to produce the music for each show, he adds to it by going nuts onstage. he jumps in the crowd, brings the crowd onstage, strips down to his underwear...
the show i attended two summers ago was unreal. i didn't know what to expect, and as soon as the first notes boomed from the amps, the entire crowd broke out into the craziest, most perfect dance party ever. and it never lost energy.
the show this summer is at the Amphitheater at Station Square, which is a drastically different venue than Mr. Smalls; must less intimate, because of both size and the fact that it's outdoors. I'm not sure how Girl Talk's show will translate to an outside venue as I've never seen him at a festival.
the show is on July 31, and i believe the opening acts are "friends" including Wiz Khalifa and Don Caballero. I think the tickets are like $20 which, trust me, is totally worth it. see you there!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
there are a million reasons to go and only one reason to stay
it's that time of year again in prague: leaving time. spring and early summer is usually when people choose to make their exit (surprisingly, not winter), and this year i can't exclude myself from that bunch.
it's one thing to say goodbye to people you've are close with, but you're not sure you'll ever see again. promises of e-mails and phone calls and visits create sweet euphony with goodbyes, but who's to say which of those will be kept. but i'm prepared for that. you do your best, but one thing i've learned as i grow older is that people you expect never to see again reappear in your life in unexpected ways.
it's saying goodbye to the people whose relationship you're unsure about that sucks the most. a friend you've grown apart from, one with which the gap seems impossible to bridge. i'll miss yous will be exchanged, but will they be empty? will they really miss you or is it just something that sounds nice, when really they'll be almost glad to see you gone?
something i've learned a lot about this year is how difficult it is to repair unhealthy relationships. i'm not sure it can be done. it's unfortunate, because the more i see people come and go, the more i believe that when time is so short, differences should be put aside. in three weeks i may never see you again - can't we just enjoy the time we have?
i don't think there's anything more painful than a relationship that seems unfixable, no matter how much you want it to be back to what it was. and this is an impossible perspective from which to look at it. time and distance fix those problems; there's no forcing it. but faced with never seeing a person again, time and distance don't seem worth their salt. i want a band aid for a bullet wound, and i want it now.
the worst thing to face is that maybe the other person doesn't see in your friendship what they once saw, that they don't want to do any fixing. which makes that goodbye the worst kind.
it's one thing to say goodbye to people you've are close with, but you're not sure you'll ever see again. promises of e-mails and phone calls and visits create sweet euphony with goodbyes, but who's to say which of those will be kept. but i'm prepared for that. you do your best, but one thing i've learned as i grow older is that people you expect never to see again reappear in your life in unexpected ways.
it's saying goodbye to the people whose relationship you're unsure about that sucks the most. a friend you've grown apart from, one with which the gap seems impossible to bridge. i'll miss yous will be exchanged, but will they be empty? will they really miss you or is it just something that sounds nice, when really they'll be almost glad to see you gone?
something i've learned a lot about this year is how difficult it is to repair unhealthy relationships. i'm not sure it can be done. it's unfortunate, because the more i see people come and go, the more i believe that when time is so short, differences should be put aside. in three weeks i may never see you again - can't we just enjoy the time we have?
i don't think there's anything more painful than a relationship that seems unfixable, no matter how much you want it to be back to what it was. and this is an impossible perspective from which to look at it. time and distance fix those problems; there's no forcing it. but faced with never seeing a person again, time and distance don't seem worth their salt. i want a band aid for a bullet wound, and i want it now.
the worst thing to face is that maybe the other person doesn't see in your friendship what they once saw, that they don't want to do any fixing. which makes that goodbye the worst kind.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
a bittersweet Stanley Cup championship
i've never wanted to go home more than on Saturday morning, about 4:30 Prague time, when Marc Andre Fleury made a miraculous save in the waning seconds of the third period and the Pens won the Stanley Cup.
i watched it from an internet feed of dubious legality in the living room of my friend's apartment. it was me, the light of the computer screen, and my friend Liz who was drifting in and out of a drunken sleep after a night of partying and dancing at Akropolis.
"Liz! Stay up! There's only two minutes left!"
"Yeah, okay, I'm up, I'm up," she said, as she closed her eyes again and left me alone to witness what Pittsburghers have been dreaming about since the early 90s.
In the 2 years I've spent in Prague, I've missed the Pens appear in two Stanley Cup finals and win one, the Steelers win a Superbowl, and the Pitt Panthers nearly make it to the Final Four. last year i spent $1000 to fly home to watch the last three games of the Stanley Cup, only to watch the series go to the seemingly unstoppable Wings, convinced that if there were some way the Pens could manage to win there was no way in hell i could have rationalized missing it.
but they lost. it was still worth it, but in the months following, as the Steelers came closer to their Superbowl victory, I began formulating a little superstition: when i'm away from Pittsburgh, my teams seem to perform much better.
so this year, as much as I wanted to pack up a month early and head home in June instead of July so I could catch what I knew would be an amazing Stanley Cup series, I couldn't do it. i'm the jinx. if i went home, they'd lose.
so i watched from the computer with only half-asleep Liz to celebrate with as Sid lifted the cup. and afterwards i called friends back home, and listened as they celebrated in their living room, then listened as they swarmed the streets, yelling and screaming and running around and high-fiving perfect strangers who, for one night, they had something in common with.
i'm not married, i don't have children, haven't made any huge accomplishments in any career or won any awards. call me irrational (though i have a feeling if you're also from pittsburgh, you won't), but this was the most important day of my life. and i have a feeling it was one of the most important days for the rest of the people from my hometown, too.
and to not be there to share it with them, that broke my heart a little. the feeling of pride that can't really be expressed by words is cut down to 1/100th of what it would have felt like had i been in pittsburgh.
i may sound overly dramatic or insane, but this win would have been so much better had i been able to celebrate it with people who can totally understand.
i watched it from an internet feed of dubious legality in the living room of my friend's apartment. it was me, the light of the computer screen, and my friend Liz who was drifting in and out of a drunken sleep after a night of partying and dancing at Akropolis.
"Liz! Stay up! There's only two minutes left!"
"Yeah, okay, I'm up, I'm up," she said, as she closed her eyes again and left me alone to witness what Pittsburghers have been dreaming about since the early 90s.
In the 2 years I've spent in Prague, I've missed the Pens appear in two Stanley Cup finals and win one, the Steelers win a Superbowl, and the Pitt Panthers nearly make it to the Final Four. last year i spent $1000 to fly home to watch the last three games of the Stanley Cup, only to watch the series go to the seemingly unstoppable Wings, convinced that if there were some way the Pens could manage to win there was no way in hell i could have rationalized missing it.
but they lost. it was still worth it, but in the months following, as the Steelers came closer to their Superbowl victory, I began formulating a little superstition: when i'm away from Pittsburgh, my teams seem to perform much better.
so this year, as much as I wanted to pack up a month early and head home in June instead of July so I could catch what I knew would be an amazing Stanley Cup series, I couldn't do it. i'm the jinx. if i went home, they'd lose.
so i watched from the computer with only half-asleep Liz to celebrate with as Sid lifted the cup. and afterwards i called friends back home, and listened as they celebrated in their living room, then listened as they swarmed the streets, yelling and screaming and running around and high-fiving perfect strangers who, for one night, they had something in common with.
i'm not married, i don't have children, haven't made any huge accomplishments in any career or won any awards. call me irrational (though i have a feeling if you're also from pittsburgh, you won't), but this was the most important day of my life. and i have a feeling it was one of the most important days for the rest of the people from my hometown, too.
and to not be there to share it with them, that broke my heart a little. the feeling of pride that can't really be expressed by words is cut down to 1/100th of what it would have felt like had i been in pittsburgh.
i may sound overly dramatic or insane, but this win would have been so much better had i been able to celebrate it with people who can totally understand.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
and this 'book you cannot change
the more i think about it, i'm totally surprised that Obama was elected President this fall. you know why? because people HATE change.
but you say, no, Jen, you are totally wrong! we LOVE change! change is wonderful and exciting, especially in election years in democratic societies!
the same people who will someday tell their children and grandchildren about how they were part of an historic election that ushered in a new era of democracy*, who trudged to their local firehall or elementary school multi-purpose room on the first tuesday after the first monday in november 2008 and put their dirty fingers all over the smudged LCD screens of their states' shiny new electronic voting machines**, will say "we wanted change! and it was change that we got!"
they don't even realize they were totally lying.
how do i know?
all these people choose to spend their energy complaining about the facebook.***
a few weeks ago the facebook layout changed. again. it happens every six months or so, and it is always just radical enough to make people go UP. IN. ARMS. one morning you wake up, your wall is a little different, maybe the buttons for certain applications are in a different place, whatever, no big deal, but EVERYONE'S status is now "OH MY GOD I HATE THE NEW FACEBOOK, THIS IS TERRIBLE, MY WEEK IS RUINED, I THINK I'M GOING TO HANG MYSELF NOW :-(" or "UGH BRING BACK THE OLD FACEBOOK MARK ZUCKERBERG YOU DOUCHE BAG, I'M REALLY CONFUSED AND I CAN'T FIND THE BUTTON FOR SCRABULOUS!"
and then some genius with even more free time on his or her hands will create a group entitled "GO BACK TO THE OLD FACEBOOK, MARK ZUCKERBERG, YOU DOUCHE BAG, OR ELSE WE'LL ALL QUIT!"
here's the thing. who fucking cares? is it really going to inconvenience your life that much to click around and figure out where things are now? since most people are on the facebook about 8 hours a day anyway**** i bet you can have it down by lunch.
mark zuckerberg should tell everyone to shove it.
the submoral of the story is, if it bothers you that much, you should quit. but no one ever quits facebook.
the main moral of the story is, people hate change! if a new HTML script configured by some recent college grad in the Bay Area can ruin your day, how would you react to a change in SOCIETY***** that would actually affect your normal, day to day life in a meaningful way?
just make sure, future you, when you are proudly telling your children about how you wanted change so much that you voted for a Democrat, that you also explain how this crazy thing called the Facebook, on this old dinosaur called a computer, would ruin your week twice a year.
it's only fair.
*i suppose this remains to be seen, but bear with me for the sake of argument.
**i miss pulling levers
***i hate change so much i refuse to acknowledge mark zuckerberg's phase out of the definite article in his company's name
****you know you are, don't lie
*****i'm reserving judgment for now but we're operating on the assumption that this would happen
but you say, no, Jen, you are totally wrong! we LOVE change! change is wonderful and exciting, especially in election years in democratic societies!
the same people who will someday tell their children and grandchildren about how they were part of an historic election that ushered in a new era of democracy*, who trudged to their local firehall or elementary school multi-purpose room on the first tuesday after the first monday in november 2008 and put their dirty fingers all over the smudged LCD screens of their states' shiny new electronic voting machines**, will say "we wanted change! and it was change that we got!"
they don't even realize they were totally lying.
how do i know?
all these people choose to spend their energy complaining about the facebook.***
a few weeks ago the facebook layout changed. again. it happens every six months or so, and it is always just radical enough to make people go UP. IN. ARMS. one morning you wake up, your wall is a little different, maybe the buttons for certain applications are in a different place, whatever, no big deal, but EVERYONE'S status is now "OH MY GOD I HATE THE NEW FACEBOOK, THIS IS TERRIBLE, MY WEEK IS RUINED, I THINK I'M GOING TO HANG MYSELF NOW :-(" or "UGH BRING BACK THE OLD FACEBOOK MARK ZUCKERBERG YOU DOUCHE BAG, I'M REALLY CONFUSED AND I CAN'T FIND THE BUTTON FOR SCRABULOUS!"
and then some genius with even more free time on his or her hands will create a group entitled "GO BACK TO THE OLD FACEBOOK, MARK ZUCKERBERG, YOU DOUCHE BAG, OR ELSE WE'LL ALL QUIT!"
here's the thing. who fucking cares? is it really going to inconvenience your life that much to click around and figure out where things are now? since most people are on the facebook about 8 hours a day anyway**** i bet you can have it down by lunch.
mark zuckerberg should tell everyone to shove it.
the submoral of the story is, if it bothers you that much, you should quit. but no one ever quits facebook.
the main moral of the story is, people hate change! if a new HTML script configured by some recent college grad in the Bay Area can ruin your day, how would you react to a change in SOCIETY***** that would actually affect your normal, day to day life in a meaningful way?
just make sure, future you, when you are proudly telling your children about how you wanted change so much that you voted for a Democrat, that you also explain how this crazy thing called the Facebook, on this old dinosaur called a computer, would ruin your week twice a year.
it's only fair.
*i suppose this remains to be seen, but bear with me for the sake of argument.
**i miss pulling levers
***i hate change so much i refuse to acknowledge mark zuckerberg's phase out of the definite article in his company's name
****you know you are, don't lie
*****i'm reserving judgment for now but we're operating on the assumption that this would happen
Saturday, January 03, 2009
liveblog: atlanta international airport
11:31. i arrived in Atlanta about an hour ago; i still have just a shade under 7 hours until my connecting flight leaves for Prague. i rode the cool little light rail train to Concourse E and situated myself at a Wi Fi Hot Spot in the food court. Atlanta is totally aware that it's 2009 and the internet should be ubiquitous and free. Awesome.
There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.
11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.
11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.
11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.
11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.
11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.
12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.
12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.
12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.
12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.
12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.
12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.
1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.
1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.
2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.
2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.
2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.
2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."
3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.
3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.
4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.
4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.
4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.
4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.
5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.
Peace be with yinz.
There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.
11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.
11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.
11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.
11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.
11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.
12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.
12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.
12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.
12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.
12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.
12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.
1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.
1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.
2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.
2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.
2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.
2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."
3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.
3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.
4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.
4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.
4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.
4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.
5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.
Peace be with yinz.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
new year's playlist
as we were braving the sudden winter storm that attacked pittsburgh on this fine new years eve, j robb and i discussed the viability of a new years playlist. i decided to undertake this challenge only to realize that the number of songs that directly refer to new years is rather small and that you can only stretch non-literal references to the change of the calendar so far (unless you want a list with a ton of songs along the lines of "A Long December" by the Counting Crows). and anyway, that's boring!
so my new years playlist is "resolution" themed, so all the songs refer to resolutions i will attempt to make and keep in the year 2009.
Song: Everyday I Write the Book - Elvis Costello
Resolution: I will write a book.
Song: Amsterdam - Peter, Bjorn and John
Resolution: I will start seriously looking into ways to live in my favorite city in Europe.
Songs: Grand Canyon - Magnetic Fields, Washington DC - Magnetic Fields, Chicago - Sufjan Stevens, No Sleep Til Brooklyn - The Beastie Boys, Tennessee Sucks - Ryan Adams
Resolution: I will go on a Great American Roadtrip.
Song: The Legionnaire's Lament - The Decemberists
Resolution: I will expand my vocabulary with words like "laudanum," "fecundity," and "charabanc."
Song: The New Workout Plan - Kanye West
Resolution: I will finally get in shape.
Song: Elevator - Flo Rida featuring Timbaland
Resolution: I will start taking the stairs.
Song: Love is Like a Rock - Donnie Iris
Resolution: I will listen to more "homegrown" artists.
Song: After the Goldrush - Neil Young
Resolution: I will give up on this whole "panning for gold" get-rich-quick thing.
Song: Cherchez La Ghost - Ghostface Killah
Resolution: I will learn French.
Song: Spiderwebs - No Doubt
Resolution: I will change the message on my answering machine.
Song: So Fresh, So Clean - Outkast
Resolution: I will try to bathe every day.
Song: Pussy Galore - The Roots
Resolution: I will catch up on all the old Bond movies I've yet to see.
Song: It's Not Easy Being Green - Kermit the Frog
Resolution: I'll start looking into sustainable sources of energy and becoming more environmentally conscious.
Song: Step into My Office, Baby - Belle and Sebastian
Resolution: I will stop sleeping with my secretary.
Song: Got Ya Money - Ol' Dirty Bastard
Resolution (well, not really): God give us strength to continue living on this planet another year without ODB.
Here's to 2009!
Love, Jen
so my new years playlist is "resolution" themed, so all the songs refer to resolutions i will attempt to make and keep in the year 2009.
Song: Everyday I Write the Book - Elvis Costello
Resolution: I will write a book.
Song: Amsterdam - Peter, Bjorn and John
Resolution: I will start seriously looking into ways to live in my favorite city in Europe.
Songs: Grand Canyon - Magnetic Fields, Washington DC - Magnetic Fields, Chicago - Sufjan Stevens, No Sleep Til Brooklyn - The Beastie Boys, Tennessee Sucks - Ryan Adams
Resolution: I will go on a Great American Roadtrip.
Song: The Legionnaire's Lament - The Decemberists
Resolution: I will expand my vocabulary with words like "laudanum," "fecundity," and "charabanc."
Song: The New Workout Plan - Kanye West
Resolution: I will finally get in shape.
Song: Elevator - Flo Rida featuring Timbaland
Resolution: I will start taking the stairs.
Song: Love is Like a Rock - Donnie Iris
Resolution: I will listen to more "homegrown" artists.
Song: After the Goldrush - Neil Young
Resolution: I will give up on this whole "panning for gold" get-rich-quick thing.
Song: Cherchez La Ghost - Ghostface Killah
Resolution: I will learn French.
Song: Spiderwebs - No Doubt
Resolution: I will change the message on my answering machine.
Song: So Fresh, So Clean - Outkast
Resolution: I will try to bathe every day.
Song: Pussy Galore - The Roots
Resolution: I will catch up on all the old Bond movies I've yet to see.
Song: It's Not Easy Being Green - Kermit the Frog
Resolution: I'll start looking into sustainable sources of energy and becoming more environmentally conscious.
Song: Step into My Office, Baby - Belle and Sebastian
Resolution: I will stop sleeping with my secretary.
Song: Got Ya Money - Ol' Dirty Bastard
Resolution (well, not really): God give us strength to continue living on this planet another year without ODB.
Here's to 2009!
Love, Jen
Sunday, December 28, 2008
liveblog: Steelers v. Browns
for this, the final game of the season and the only game i've seen in pittsburgh, i've decided to liveblog. my liveblogging experience includes 2 Pens games and one afternoon of Austrian music television (see below and the raleigh street blog).
so far, not much has happened. in fact until about three minutes ago, this game was super boring. it seemed like at least 17 points had been scored but were not recorded on the scoreboard. i guess they were disallowed (or maybe it's broken?!).
bruce gradkowski is pitching for the Browns, which makes him i think the 4th person to quarterback the team this season? i have a soft spot for bruce, mostly because he's from pittsburgh (seton la salle) and because his name is super fun to say with a pittsburgh accent.
lots of exciting things keep almost happening. stallworth was literally flipped over by a steelers tackle, yet attempted to stand up after he landed and continued acquiring YAC. he ran pretty far before anyone thought to mention that his elbow had downed him.
this might sound stupid, but something i have struggled with my entire football watching career is the difference between an incomplete pass and a complete pass that is then fumbled. i'm not convinced that there is any discernable difference to anyone; whichever referee is in charge just guesses, then the rest of them agree because they have no clue either. the steelers picked up a "fumble" that turned out to be merely an incomplete pass. he ran it nearly to the endzone, but the whistles were blowing. disappointing. the thing is, i'm pretty sure everyone viewing with the naked eye thought the pass was complete then fumbled, including the announcer. i would love to ask a panel of referees about this.
i just remembered that in order to be a complete pass, the pass has to be caught legally and then the player has to execute a "football move" which is my FAVORITE term in professional sports commentary. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. which further proves that the incomplete v. complete+fumble is an impossible call to make.
big ben has managed to throw a few passes this quarter to the players on his own team.
1:48 in the 2nd. roethlisberger is down, but don't worry because after willie parker scored a few minutes ago, and then threw the ball nearly to the second level of seating in celebration. remember that commercial where john elway threw that nerf football the entire length of the field? it was just like that.
ben does not appear to even be thinking about getting up off the field.
well, here comes byron leftwich. at least we're keeping with the theme of former MAC conference quarterbacks. (bruce - toledo, ben - miami of oh., byron - marshall*.) also all their names start with the letter B! fuuuuuck yeah.
"is he still...? he is dead." - my mom on the fact that ben hasn't stood up yet.
with no hope of securing the top seed in the AFC, there was really no reason for mike tomlin to play ben. now let's hope byron can get us through the playoffs.
what do you think about this? should teams bench their first stringers at the end of the season if a win is not necessary?
they're DRILLING his helmet to take it off!!!!! we're being assured that they do this in "any number of scenarios" but i think maybe to avoid inciting a panic they could have saved this for the locker room.
they're taking him out on a stretcher.
"it'd be funny if they dropped him." -mom
ben just gave a thumbs up to the crowd as the little motorized cart carried his stretcher down the sideline. WHAT A RELIEF.
"i hope leftwich throws about 5 touchdowns." -mom. you know, it HAS been quite a while since we've had a good quarterback controversy.
there's talk of Cleveland looking to sign Bill Cowher as head coach next year. am i the only one who sees this as completely implausible? you can't coach the steelers for 15 years then coach the Browns. Or the Cowboys, the Bengals, the Ravens, or the Eagles. The other 27 teams? have at it.
Leftwich just "scrambled" his eggs 8 yards for a touchdown. pack your bags, ben.
it's the 2nd half now. i got kinda bored of liveblogging.
winter is great. in the colder markets they put up those space-heater type things near the benches so the players can stay warm between plays. they have signs that say "caution: very hot. stay back 4 feet." EVERY GAME without fail, there is some sort of joke made using these signs. today, it was "the steelers defense is on fire!" as the camera caught townsend and the rest of them unknowingly standing in the vicinity of the heater. HILARIOUS.
okay this has gone on long enough. the score is 17-0 with 4:53 left in the 3rd quarter. i'm probably going to take a nap. PEACE.
*now in conference USA i guess, but recently. when leftwich played there, they were still MAC.
so far, not much has happened. in fact until about three minutes ago, this game was super boring. it seemed like at least 17 points had been scored but were not recorded on the scoreboard. i guess they were disallowed (or maybe it's broken?!).
bruce gradkowski is pitching for the Browns, which makes him i think the 4th person to quarterback the team this season? i have a soft spot for bruce, mostly because he's from pittsburgh (seton la salle) and because his name is super fun to say with a pittsburgh accent.
lots of exciting things keep almost happening. stallworth was literally flipped over by a steelers tackle, yet attempted to stand up after he landed and continued acquiring YAC. he ran pretty far before anyone thought to mention that his elbow had downed him.
this might sound stupid, but something i have struggled with my entire football watching career is the difference between an incomplete pass and a complete pass that is then fumbled. i'm not convinced that there is any discernable difference to anyone; whichever referee is in charge just guesses, then the rest of them agree because they have no clue either. the steelers picked up a "fumble" that turned out to be merely an incomplete pass. he ran it nearly to the endzone, but the whistles were blowing. disappointing. the thing is, i'm pretty sure everyone viewing with the naked eye thought the pass was complete then fumbled, including the announcer. i would love to ask a panel of referees about this.
i just remembered that in order to be a complete pass, the pass has to be caught legally and then the player has to execute a "football move" which is my FAVORITE term in professional sports commentary. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. which further proves that the incomplete v. complete+fumble is an impossible call to make.
big ben has managed to throw a few passes this quarter to the players on his own team.
1:48 in the 2nd. roethlisberger is down, but don't worry because after willie parker scored a few minutes ago, and then threw the ball nearly to the second level of seating in celebration. remember that commercial where john elway threw that nerf football the entire length of the field? it was just like that.
ben does not appear to even be thinking about getting up off the field.
well, here comes byron leftwich. at least we're keeping with the theme of former MAC conference quarterbacks. (bruce - toledo, ben - miami of oh., byron - marshall*.) also all their names start with the letter B! fuuuuuck yeah.
"is he still...? he is dead." - my mom on the fact that ben hasn't stood up yet.
with no hope of securing the top seed in the AFC, there was really no reason for mike tomlin to play ben. now let's hope byron can get us through the playoffs.
what do you think about this? should teams bench their first stringers at the end of the season if a win is not necessary?
they're DRILLING his helmet to take it off!!!!! we're being assured that they do this in "any number of scenarios" but i think maybe to avoid inciting a panic they could have saved this for the locker room.
they're taking him out on a stretcher.
"it'd be funny if they dropped him." -mom
ben just gave a thumbs up to the crowd as the little motorized cart carried his stretcher down the sideline. WHAT A RELIEF.
"i hope leftwich throws about 5 touchdowns." -mom. you know, it HAS been quite a while since we've had a good quarterback controversy.
there's talk of Cleveland looking to sign Bill Cowher as head coach next year. am i the only one who sees this as completely implausible? you can't coach the steelers for 15 years then coach the Browns. Or the Cowboys, the Bengals, the Ravens, or the Eagles. The other 27 teams? have at it.
Leftwich just "scrambled" his eggs 8 yards for a touchdown. pack your bags, ben.
it's the 2nd half now. i got kinda bored of liveblogging.
winter is great. in the colder markets they put up those space-heater type things near the benches so the players can stay warm between plays. they have signs that say "caution: very hot. stay back 4 feet." EVERY GAME without fail, there is some sort of joke made using these signs. today, it was "the steelers defense is on fire!" as the camera caught townsend and the rest of them unknowingly standing in the vicinity of the heater. HILARIOUS.
okay this has gone on long enough. the score is 17-0 with 4:53 left in the 3rd quarter. i'm probably going to take a nap. PEACE.
*now in conference USA i guess, but recently. when leftwich played there, they were still MAC.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
(almost)* liveblogging austrian music television
i haven't had a TV in six months, and have barely watched any television in 11. With my recent move across town I find myself in an apartment with a TV and only one channel** - "gotv," or basically austria's answer to MTV.
having been out of the game for quite a while, i have to admit that when i see videos shown, it has a hypnotizing, paralyzing affect. i spent most of this afternoon listening to and watching music videos, mesmerized. here are some of the most interesting ones i saw:
"Hearts Burned Into Fire," by Bullet for My Valentine
because i was watching a German-language based broadcast, and on first appearances, i totally expected this band to sound like something like motorhead. the guys strode out with cut-off black muscle shirts and bottle-black, shoulder-length hair. the guitarist
played the opening notes on only the fret-board, and i thought "this guy is preparing to rock harder than slash ever dreamed."
i was totally wrong! it was emo! which boggled my mind. there was even a "screamo" break. i'm disappointed already.
"Erdbeben," by Fettes Brot.
I'm guessing these guys are German, but judging by their clothes, they are either sailors, mimes or French. i want to say they sounded a bit like German Reggae, but i don't know if the world is ready for that musical concept. nonetheless, this song was "ubercatchy." the rhythms of the german language lend themselves beautifully to bands that sound like the Bloodhound Gang. and death metal.
"Warwick Avenue," by Duffy
Duffy is allegedly the "next Amy Winehouse," which I think means she sings like she's black. I didn't want to like her, but my walls were bombed after about 2.5 seconds of this song. It's like getting to like Winehouse without the moral responsibility similar to how you feel about having to bail a younger sibling out of a bad situation even though you know they totally deserve what they got. and impetigo.
"I Kissed a Girl," by Katy Perry
This song makes me want to kiss girls, or at least boys that wear Cherry Chapstick.
"That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" by Panic at the Disco
First of all, I read online that a few months ago, P!ATD officially took the exclamation point out of their name, changing it to simple PATD, which is nice because now, when typing the band name, Microsoft Word will stop recognizing the faux beginning of a new sentence. these guys are nothing if not practical.
the moral of this PATD video: change***. the guys change sizes, ages, generations, space-time continuums, musical instruments and, unfortunately, sound. i don't know about the whole album, but judging on this song, this will not spurn the kind of show that, in order to get pumped up for, you stand outside the open trunk of a friend's car in the parking lot of the Chevrolet Ampitheater shotgunning Natty Light.
next, we were launched into a "hosted by MGMT" segment. i'll have to say that at first, MGMT annoyed the shit out of me, but their video "Electric Feel" has changed my mind. And the one dude can rock a pink bandana like no other. they showed many of their favorite videos, but the stylish headwear segues beautifully into:
"November Rain," by Guns N Roses
I have a new theory about this video, and prepare yourself because it's pretty fucking mindblowing. Slash was totally fucking Axl's new wife.
I have only a cursory knowledge of the autobiographical details that inspired this video. I remember that Stephanie Seymour was Axl Rose's actual girlfriend (wife?) but beyond that I'm clueless. I could have done some research... but Google in the Brain hasn't been invented yet. someday, music video viewers will have to analyze this video without the firsthand knowledge of the zeitgeist**** that our generation has, and this is what they will decide.
In the chapel scene, Stephanie strides down the catwalk towards her future husband, who has shed his perma-bandana for the special day. she's beaming, but as she nears Axl, her smile fades. however, she doesn't bail and the preacher begins the ceremony. everything seems fine, but then its time to exchange the rings: Slash, clearly the best man, fumbles around. he can't find them. Duff McCagan/Izzy Stradlin (no clue) saves the day: he throws up a leather-gloved hand, where the rings rest on his pinky finger. Slash takes them and SLAMS them down on the BIBLE, then does a 180 and blows the joint.
after the nuptials are completed, Axl and Stephanie climb into the "just married" car to head off into the soundstage sunset. but before they drive off, Stephanie looks longingly off into the distance: presumably at nothing, or at the symbolic departure of her single life. but wait! she is actually looking for the one person not present and accounted for: Slash, who had exited the chapel early to prepare to play the most epic guitar solo of the video music era.
at the end of the video, after stephanie's untimely demise, Axl tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep. Is he tormented about living a life alone after his one true love was taken from him prematurely? or is he tormented by the fact that he'll never know for sure that his best friend was bagging his girl?
i should be winning awards.
*in middle school, our morning news program claimed to be broadcast "almost live, from high atop our school (or something like that, as the AV studio was above my homeroom). "almost live" meant that we recorded it in the morning, but broadcast sometime around 10:30 am. despite this pre-recorded aspect, we didn't stop to correct mistakes or do re-takes, so language trip ups were left to scar the guilty party far into their teenage years. this means that basically, i watched MTV all day and am now blogging about it at 12:30am because i don't have anything better to do.
**later realized i was changing the TV channels, not the cable box channels. We actually have loads of channels, but so far they're all in German.
****I didn't know the name of this song while I was writing this... so, I guess this idea is not as novel as i thought.
****i'm allowed to use German words because this is Austrian TV!!!!!!!
having been out of the game for quite a while, i have to admit that when i see videos shown, it has a hypnotizing, paralyzing affect. i spent most of this afternoon listening to and watching music videos, mesmerized. here are some of the most interesting ones i saw:
"Hearts Burned Into Fire," by Bullet for My Valentine
because i was watching a German-language based broadcast, and on first appearances, i totally expected this band to sound like something like motorhead. the guys strode out with cut-off black muscle shirts and bottle-black, shoulder-length hair. the guitarist
played the opening notes on only the fret-board, and i thought "this guy is preparing to rock harder than slash ever dreamed."
i was totally wrong! it was emo! which boggled my mind. there was even a "screamo" break. i'm disappointed already.
"Erdbeben," by Fettes Brot.
I'm guessing these guys are German, but judging by their clothes, they are either sailors, mimes or French. i want to say they sounded a bit like German Reggae, but i don't know if the world is ready for that musical concept. nonetheless, this song was "ubercatchy." the rhythms of the german language lend themselves beautifully to bands that sound like the Bloodhound Gang. and death metal.
"Warwick Avenue," by Duffy
Duffy is allegedly the "next Amy Winehouse," which I think means she sings like she's black. I didn't want to like her, but my walls were bombed after about 2.5 seconds of this song. It's like getting to like Winehouse without the moral responsibility similar to how you feel about having to bail a younger sibling out of a bad situation even though you know they totally deserve what they got. and impetigo.
"I Kissed a Girl," by Katy Perry
This song makes me want to kiss girls, or at least boys that wear Cherry Chapstick.
"That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" by Panic at the Disco
First of all, I read online that a few months ago, P!ATD officially took the exclamation point out of their name, changing it to simple PATD, which is nice because now, when typing the band name, Microsoft Word will stop recognizing the faux beginning of a new sentence. these guys are nothing if not practical.
the moral of this PATD video: change***. the guys change sizes, ages, generations, space-time continuums, musical instruments and, unfortunately, sound. i don't know about the whole album, but judging on this song, this will not spurn the kind of show that, in order to get pumped up for, you stand outside the open trunk of a friend's car in the parking lot of the Chevrolet Ampitheater shotgunning Natty Light.
next, we were launched into a "hosted by MGMT" segment. i'll have to say that at first, MGMT annoyed the shit out of me, but their video "Electric Feel" has changed my mind. And the one dude can rock a pink bandana like no other. they showed many of their favorite videos, but the stylish headwear segues beautifully into:
"November Rain," by Guns N Roses
I have a new theory about this video, and prepare yourself because it's pretty fucking mindblowing. Slash was totally fucking Axl's new wife.
I have only a cursory knowledge of the autobiographical details that inspired this video. I remember that Stephanie Seymour was Axl Rose's actual girlfriend (wife?) but beyond that I'm clueless. I could have done some research... but Google in the Brain hasn't been invented yet. someday, music video viewers will have to analyze this video without the firsthand knowledge of the zeitgeist**** that our generation has, and this is what they will decide.
In the chapel scene, Stephanie strides down the catwalk towards her future husband, who has shed his perma-bandana for the special day. she's beaming, but as she nears Axl, her smile fades. however, she doesn't bail and the preacher begins the ceremony. everything seems fine, but then its time to exchange the rings: Slash, clearly the best man, fumbles around. he can't find them. Duff McCagan/Izzy Stradlin (no clue) saves the day: he throws up a leather-gloved hand, where the rings rest on his pinky finger. Slash takes them and SLAMS them down on the BIBLE, then does a 180 and blows the joint.
after the nuptials are completed, Axl and Stephanie climb into the "just married" car to head off into the soundstage sunset. but before they drive off, Stephanie looks longingly off into the distance: presumably at nothing, or at the symbolic departure of her single life. but wait! she is actually looking for the one person not present and accounted for: Slash, who had exited the chapel early to prepare to play the most epic guitar solo of the video music era.
at the end of the video, after stephanie's untimely demise, Axl tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep. Is he tormented about living a life alone after his one true love was taken from him prematurely? or is he tormented by the fact that he'll never know for sure that his best friend was bagging his girl?
i should be winning awards.
*in middle school, our morning news program claimed to be broadcast "almost live, from high atop our school (or something like that, as the AV studio was above my homeroom). "almost live" meant that we recorded it in the morning, but broadcast sometime around 10:30 am. despite this pre-recorded aspect, we didn't stop to correct mistakes or do re-takes, so language trip ups were left to scar the guilty party far into their teenage years. this means that basically, i watched MTV all day and am now blogging about it at 12:30am because i don't have anything better to do.
**later realized i was changing the TV channels, not the cable box channels. We actually have loads of channels, but so far they're all in German.
****I didn't know the name of this song while I was writing this... so, I guess this idea is not as novel as i thought.
****i'm allowed to use German words because this is Austrian TV!!!!!!!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
you-hoo-hooooo may say i'm a pessimist, but i'm not the only one...
this might seem alarming i think the john lennon song "imagine" is pretty depressing.
i know i am probably not the go-to source for trenchant insights into widely popular, yet, sadly, misunderstood songs*, but i think everyone has been looking at this song the wrong way.
guaranteed, if you and a group of your close friends, kin or a mixture thereof are sitting around and this song comes on, someone will inevitably remark about how idealistic and beautiful it is. if they don't say it out loud, one or more of them are definitely thinking it. because john is an excellent songwriter, you unconsciously do what he commands you to - imagine this utopian world he's thinking of. a brotherhood of man? who can really argue with that. sounds pretty awesome.
i think it's pretty much accepted that john was the token idealistic songwriter of the 60s/70s, but i think if he's worth his snuff, there's got to be more to this song than the simple, idealistic message of "can't we all just get along?"
he starts listing all the things that we'd have to take out of the equation in order to achieve this perfect world. so basically we're getting rid of possessions, countries, religion (including heaven and hell**), and consequently, things that we kill or die for, greed, hunger, and the negative side effects of living as though your fate is fixed.
but is the price worth the reward? i mean, yeah... this world would be awesome. but it would also be boring. these Utopians would have nothing to fight about or hate each other for, yes, but they'd also have nothing*** to talk about.
maybe this sounds ridiculous, but does he REALLY want to give up all of that, or expect anyone else to want to? i think no. and that's why this song is depressing and genius.
so he never actually uses the word "utopia" but that's what we're getting at here, i think, and while i was looking up the adjective form of the word (because apparently, in order for blogger to accept it, you have to capitalize it... even if you are not specifically describing Sir Thomas More's Utopia. idiots.) i stumbled on the etymology of the word, which i didn't know but maybe you did. it comes from the Greek words that mean "not" and "a place" so basically it means "nowhere."
so this perfect world is actually nowhere - it's some place we'll never find, which is one layer of sad. on top of that, to get it, we'd have to give up everything that makes most people's lives bearable. and so even if we could eliminate all those things, we probably never would.
which, to me, is fucking depressing. but maybe i'm the pessimist.
*but, doesn't make me any less right about "california girls."
**i read somewhere that at the airport in liverpool are written the words "above us only sky," which might be the best side effect of this song. this and FC's slogan of "you'll never walk alone" have me convinced that liverpool might be the coolest place ever. it's like those kids that write song lyrics and quotes all over their book covers... except they wrote them on their city. liverpudlians are awesome. and they're called liverpudlians! i love it.
***although, john neglects to mention getting rid of global warming, which would surely cause these Utopians some unforseen conflict.
i know i am probably not the go-to source for trenchant insights into widely popular, yet, sadly, misunderstood songs*, but i think everyone has been looking at this song the wrong way.
guaranteed, if you and a group of your close friends, kin or a mixture thereof are sitting around and this song comes on, someone will inevitably remark about how idealistic and beautiful it is. if they don't say it out loud, one or more of them are definitely thinking it. because john is an excellent songwriter, you unconsciously do what he commands you to - imagine this utopian world he's thinking of. a brotherhood of man? who can really argue with that. sounds pretty awesome.
i think it's pretty much accepted that john was the token idealistic songwriter of the 60s/70s, but i think if he's worth his snuff, there's got to be more to this song than the simple, idealistic message of "can't we all just get along?"
he starts listing all the things that we'd have to take out of the equation in order to achieve this perfect world. so basically we're getting rid of possessions, countries, religion (including heaven and hell**), and consequently, things that we kill or die for, greed, hunger, and the negative side effects of living as though your fate is fixed.
but is the price worth the reward? i mean, yeah... this world would be awesome. but it would also be boring. these Utopians would have nothing to fight about or hate each other for, yes, but they'd also have nothing*** to talk about.
maybe this sounds ridiculous, but does he REALLY want to give up all of that, or expect anyone else to want to? i think no. and that's why this song is depressing and genius.
so he never actually uses the word "utopia" but that's what we're getting at here, i think, and while i was looking up the adjective form of the word (because apparently, in order for blogger to accept it, you have to capitalize it... even if you are not specifically describing Sir Thomas More's Utopia. idiots.) i stumbled on the etymology of the word, which i didn't know but maybe you did. it comes from the Greek words that mean "not" and "a place" so basically it means "nowhere."
so this perfect world is actually nowhere - it's some place we'll never find, which is one layer of sad. on top of that, to get it, we'd have to give up everything that makes most people's lives bearable. and so even if we could eliminate all those things, we probably never would.
which, to me, is fucking depressing. but maybe i'm the pessimist.
*but, doesn't make me any less right about "california girls."
**i read somewhere that at the airport in liverpool are written the words "above us only sky," which might be the best side effect of this song. this and FC's slogan of "you'll never walk alone" have me convinced that liverpool might be the coolest place ever. it's like those kids that write song lyrics and quotes all over their book covers... except they wrote them on their city. liverpudlians are awesome. and they're called liverpudlians! i love it.
***although, john neglects to mention getting rid of global warming, which would surely cause these Utopians some unforseen conflict.
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