liveblog: atlanta international airport

11:31. i arrived in Atlanta about an hour ago; i still have just a shade under 7 hours until my connecting flight leaves for Prague. i rode the cool little light rail train to Concourse E and situated myself at a Wi Fi Hot Spot in the food court. Atlanta is totally aware that it's 2009 and the internet should be ubiquitous and free. Awesome.

There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.

11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.

11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.

11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.

11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.

11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.

12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.

12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.

12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.

12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.

12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.

12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.

1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.

1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.

2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.

2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.

2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.

2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."

3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.

3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.

4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.

4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.

4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.

4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.

5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.

Peace be with yinz.

new year's playlist

as we were braving the sudden winter storm that attacked pittsburgh on this fine new years eve, j robb and i discussed the viability of a new years playlist. i decided to undertake this challenge only to realize that the number of songs that directly refer to new years is rather small and that you can only stretch non-literal references to the change of the calendar so far (unless you want a list with a ton of songs along the lines of "A Long December" by the Counting Crows). and anyway, that's boring!

so my new years playlist is "resolution" themed, so all the songs refer to resolutions i will attempt to make and keep in the year 2009.


Song: Everyday I Write the Book - Elvis Costello
Resolution: I will write a book.

Song: Amsterdam - Peter, Bjorn and John
Resolution: I will start seriously looking into ways to live in my favorite city in Europe.

Songs: Grand Canyon - Magnetic Fields, Washington DC - Magnetic Fields, Chicago - Sufjan Stevens, No Sleep Til Brooklyn - The Beastie Boys, Tennessee Sucks - Ryan Adams
Resolution: I will go on a Great American Roadtrip.

Song: The Legionnaire's Lament - The Decemberists
Resolution: I will expand my vocabulary with words like "laudanum," "fecundity," and "charabanc."

Song: The New Workout Plan - Kanye West
Resolution: I will finally get in shape.

Song: Elevator - Flo Rida featuring Timbaland
Resolution: I will start taking the stairs.

Song: Love is Like a Rock - Donnie Iris
Resolution: I will listen to more "homegrown" artists.

Song: After the Goldrush - Neil Young
Resolution: I will give up on this whole "panning for gold" get-rich-quick thing.

Song: Cherchez La Ghost - Ghostface Killah
Resolution: I will learn French.

Song: Spiderwebs - No Doubt
Resolution: I will change the message on my answering machine.

Song: So Fresh, So Clean - Outkast
Resolution: I will try to bathe every day.

Song: Pussy Galore - The Roots
Resolution: I will catch up on all the old Bond movies I've yet to see.

Song: It's Not Easy Being Green - Kermit the Frog
Resolution: I'll start looking into sustainable sources of energy and becoming more environmentally conscious.

Song: Step into My Office, Baby - Belle and Sebastian
Resolution: I will stop sleeping with my secretary.

Song: Got Ya Money - Ol' Dirty Bastard
Resolution (well, not really): God give us strength to continue living on this planet another year without ODB.

Here's to 2009!

Love, Jen

liveblog: Steelers v. Browns

for this, the final game of the season and the only game i've seen in pittsburgh, i've decided to liveblog. my liveblogging experience includes 2 Pens games and one afternoon of Austrian music television (see below and the raleigh street blog).

so far, not much has happened. in fact until about three minutes ago, this game was super boring. it seemed like at least 17 points had been scored but were not recorded on the scoreboard. i guess they were disallowed (or maybe it's broken?!).

bruce gradkowski is pitching for the Browns, which makes him i think the 4th person to quarterback the team this season? i have a soft spot for bruce, mostly because he's from pittsburgh (seton la salle) and because his name is super fun to say with a pittsburgh accent.

lots of exciting things keep almost happening. stallworth was literally flipped over by a steelers tackle, yet attempted to stand up after he landed and continued acquiring YAC. he ran pretty far before anyone thought to mention that his elbow had downed him.

this might sound stupid, but something i have struggled with my entire football watching career is the difference between an incomplete pass and a complete pass that is then fumbled. i'm not convinced that there is any discernable difference to anyone; whichever referee is in charge just guesses, then the rest of them agree because they have no clue either. the steelers picked up a "fumble" that turned out to be merely an incomplete pass. he ran it nearly to the endzone, but the whistles were blowing. disappointing. the thing is, i'm pretty sure everyone viewing with the naked eye thought the pass was complete then fumbled, including the announcer. i would love to ask a panel of referees about this.

i just remembered that in order to be a complete pass, the pass has to be caught legally and then the player has to execute a "football move" which is my FAVORITE term in professional sports commentary. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. which further proves that the incomplete v. complete+fumble is an impossible call to make.

big ben has managed to throw a few passes this quarter to the players on his own team.

1:48 in the 2nd. roethlisberger is down, but don't worry because after willie parker scored a few minutes ago, and then threw the ball nearly to the second level of seating in celebration. remember that commercial where john elway threw that nerf football the entire length of the field? it was just like that.

ben does not appear to even be thinking about getting up off the field.

well, here comes byron leftwich. at least we're keeping with the theme of former MAC conference quarterbacks. (bruce - toledo, ben - miami of oh., byron - marshall*.) also all their names start with the letter B! fuuuuuck yeah.

"is he still...? he is dead." - my mom on the fact that ben hasn't stood up yet.

with no hope of securing the top seed in the AFC, there was really no reason for mike tomlin to play ben. now let's hope byron can get us through the playoffs.

what do you think about this? should teams bench their first stringers at the end of the season if a win is not necessary?

they're DRILLING his helmet to take it off!!!!! we're being assured that they do this in "any number of scenarios" but i think maybe to avoid inciting a panic they could have saved this for the locker room.

they're taking him out on a stretcher.
"it'd be funny if they dropped him." -mom

ben just gave a thumbs up to the crowd as the little motorized cart carried his stretcher down the sideline. WHAT A RELIEF.

"i hope leftwich throws about 5 touchdowns." -mom. you know, it HAS been quite a while since we've had a good quarterback controversy.

there's talk of Cleveland looking to sign Bill Cowher as head coach next year. am i the only one who sees this as completely implausible? you can't coach the steelers for 15 years then coach the Browns. Or the Cowboys, the Bengals, the Ravens, or the Eagles. The other 27 teams? have at it.

Leftwich just "scrambled" his eggs 8 yards for a touchdown. pack your bags, ben.

it's the 2nd half now. i got kinda bored of liveblogging.

winter is great. in the colder markets they put up those space-heater type things near the benches so the players can stay warm between plays. they have signs that say "caution: very hot. stay back 4 feet." EVERY GAME without fail, there is some sort of joke made using these signs. today, it was "the steelers defense is on fire!" as the camera caught townsend and the rest of them unknowingly standing in the vicinity of the heater. HILARIOUS.

okay this has gone on long enough. the score is 17-0 with 4:53 left in the 3rd quarter. i'm probably going to take a nap. PEACE.


*now in conference USA i guess, but recently. when leftwich played there, they were still MAC.

(almost)* liveblogging austrian music television

i haven't had a TV in six months, and have barely watched any television in 11. With my recent move across town I find myself in an apartment with a TV and only one channel** - "gotv," or basically austria's answer to MTV.

having been out of the game for quite a while, i have to admit that when i see videos shown, it has a hypnotizing, paralyzing affect. i spent most of this afternoon listening to and watching music videos, mesmerized. here are some of the most interesting ones i saw:


"Hearts Burned Into Fire," by Bullet for My Valentine

because i was watching a German-language based broadcast, and on first appearances, i totally expected this band to sound like something like motorhead. the guys strode out with cut-off black muscle shirts and bottle-black, shoulder-length hair. the guitarist
played the opening notes on only the fret-board, and i thought "this guy is preparing to rock harder than slash ever dreamed."

i was totally wrong! it was emo! which boggled my mind. there was even a "screamo" break. i'm disappointed already.


"Erdbeben," by Fettes Brot.

I'm guessing these guys are German, but judging by their clothes, they are either sailors, mimes or French. i want to say they sounded a bit like German Reggae, but i don't know if the world is ready for that musical concept. nonetheless, this song was "ubercatchy." the rhythms of the german language lend themselves beautifully to bands that sound like the Bloodhound Gang. and death metal.


"Warwick Avenue," by Duffy

Duffy is allegedly the "next Amy Winehouse," which I think means she sings like she's black. I didn't want to like her, but my walls were bombed after about 2.5 seconds of this song. It's like getting to like Winehouse without the moral responsibility similar to how you feel about having to bail a younger sibling out of a bad situation even though you know they totally deserve what they got. and impetigo.


"I Kissed a Girl," by Katy Perry

This song makes me want to kiss girls, or at least boys that wear Cherry Chapstick.


"That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" by Panic at the Disco

First of all, I read online that a few months ago, P!ATD officially took the exclamation point out of their name, changing it to simple PATD, which is nice because now, when typing the band name, Microsoft Word will stop recognizing the faux beginning of a new sentence. these guys are nothing if not practical.

the moral of this PATD video: change***. the guys change sizes, ages, generations, space-time continuums, musical instruments and, unfortunately, sound. i don't know about the whole album, but judging on this song, this will not spurn the kind of show that, in order to get pumped up for, you stand outside the open trunk of a friend's car in the parking lot of the Chevrolet Ampitheater shotgunning Natty Light.


next, we were launched into a "hosted by MGMT" segment. i'll have to say that at first, MGMT annoyed the shit out of me, but their video "Electric Feel" has changed my mind. And the one dude can rock a pink bandana like no other. they showed many of their favorite videos, but the stylish headwear segues beautifully into:


"November Rain," by Guns N Roses

I have a new theory about this video, and prepare yourself because it's pretty fucking mindblowing. Slash was totally fucking Axl's new wife.

I have only a cursory knowledge of the autobiographical details that inspired this video. I remember that Stephanie Seymour was Axl Rose's actual girlfriend (wife?) but beyond that I'm clueless. I could have done some research... but Google in the Brain hasn't been invented yet. someday, music video viewers will have to analyze this video without the firsthand knowledge of the zeitgeist**** that our generation has, and this is what they will decide.

In the chapel scene, Stephanie strides down the catwalk towards her future husband, who has shed his perma-bandana for the special day. she's beaming, but as she nears Axl, her smile fades. however, she doesn't bail and the preacher begins the ceremony. everything seems fine, but then its time to exchange the rings: Slash, clearly the best man, fumbles around. he can't find them. Duff McCagan/Izzy Stradlin (no clue) saves the day: he throws up a leather-gloved hand, where the rings rest on his pinky finger. Slash takes them and SLAMS them down on the BIBLE, then does a 180 and blows the joint.

after the nuptials are completed, Axl and Stephanie climb into the "just married" car to head off into the soundstage sunset. but before they drive off, Stephanie looks longingly off into the distance: presumably at nothing, or at the symbolic departure of her single life. but wait! she is actually looking for the one person not present and accounted for: Slash, who had exited the chapel early to prepare to play the most epic guitar solo of the video music era.

at the end of the video, after stephanie's untimely demise, Axl tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep. Is he tormented about living a life alone after his one true love was taken from him prematurely? or is he tormented by the fact that he'll never know for sure that his best friend was bagging his girl?


i should be winning awards.










*in middle school, our morning news program claimed to be broadcast "almost live, from high atop our school (or something like that, as the AV studio was above my homeroom). "almost live" meant that we recorded it in the morning, but broadcast sometime around 10:30 am. despite this pre-recorded aspect, we didn't stop to correct mistakes or do re-takes, so language trip ups were left to scar the guilty party far into their teenage years. this means that basically, i watched MTV all day and am now blogging about it at 12:30am because i don't have anything better to do.

**later realized i was changing the TV channels, not the cable box channels. We actually have loads of channels, but so far they're all in German.

****I didn't know the name of this song while I was writing this... so, I guess this idea is not as novel as i thought.

****i'm allowed to use German words because this is Austrian TV!!!!!!!

you-hoo-hooooo may say i'm a pessimist, but i'm not the only one...

this might seem alarming i think the john lennon song "imagine" is pretty depressing.

i know i am probably not the go-to source for trenchant insights into widely popular, yet, sadly, misunderstood songs*, but i think everyone has been looking at this song the wrong way.

guaranteed, if you and a group of your close friends, kin or a mixture thereof are sitting around and this song comes on, someone will inevitably remark about how idealistic and beautiful it is. if they don't say it out loud, one or more of them are definitely thinking it. because john is an excellent songwriter, you unconsciously do what he commands you to - imagine this utopian world he's thinking of. a brotherhood of man? who can really argue with that. sounds pretty awesome.

i think it's pretty much accepted that john was the token idealistic songwriter of the 60s/70s, but i think if he's worth his snuff, there's got to be more to this song than the simple, idealistic message of "can't we all just get along?"

he starts listing all the things that we'd have to take out of the equation in order to achieve this perfect world. so basically we're getting rid of possessions, countries, religion (including heaven and hell**), and consequently, things that we kill or die for, greed, hunger, and the negative side effects of living as though your fate is fixed.

but is the price worth the reward? i mean, yeah... this world would be awesome. but it would also be boring. these Utopians would have nothing to fight about or hate each other for, yes, but they'd also have nothing*** to talk about.

maybe this sounds ridiculous, but does he REALLY want to give up all of that, or expect anyone else to want to? i think no. and that's why this song is depressing and genius.

so he never actually uses the word "utopia" but that's what we're getting at here, i think, and while i was looking up the adjective form of the word (because apparently, in order for blogger to accept it, you have to capitalize it... even if you are not specifically describing Sir Thomas More's Utopia. idiots.) i stumbled on the etymology of the word, which i didn't know but maybe you did. it comes from the Greek words that mean "not" and "a place" so basically it means "nowhere."

so this perfect world is actually nowhere - it's some place we'll never find, which is one layer of sad. on top of that, to get it, we'd have to give up everything that makes most people's lives bearable. and so even if we could eliminate all those things, we probably never would.

which, to me, is fucking depressing. but maybe i'm the pessimist.



*but, doesn't make me any less right about "california girls."

**i read somewhere that at the airport in liverpool are written the words "above us only sky," which might be the best side effect of this song. this and FC's slogan of "you'll never walk alone" have me convinced that liverpool might be the coolest place ever. it's like those kids that write song lyrics and quotes all over their book covers... except they wrote them on their city. liverpudlians are awesome. and they're called liverpudlians! i love it.

***although, john neglects to mention getting rid of global warming, which would surely cause these Utopians some unforseen conflict.

speed friendship

prague is a city full of transients. as far as the expat community goes, anyway. you'll find the occasional lifer, and a handful of 6-10 year residents, but for the most part, the people you meet are usually at some stage of on their way out.

a year ago i would never have thought i'd stay in prague longer than the end of the school year. in fact, when i first got here, i thought staying a month would be difficult.

now that it's official (i'm staying, at this point, indefinitely), i have to watch as all the friends i've made leave, one at a time. as everyone prepares to leave and i prepare to stay... it's time to make some new friends.

so we've employed a new tactic... speed friendship. it's pretty straightforward. you meet someone new and instead of awkward small talk and promises of future get-togethers that may or may not go unfulfilled, you immediately become best friends. because when you, or your new friend, might be leaving at any time, there's no time to waste.

we met our new friend pavel a little over two weeks ago. it was a Chat Boy's/Fatteau night* and we were dragging from Lucerna the night before (being unemployed in the summer leaves a lot of time and not much to do... so we get drunk). just as we were about to split, marie strolled up with pavel. we'd met him before, briefly, at the beer garden, but never really spent any time with him. that would soon change.

we were out until sun up (which, to be fair, isn't saying much when the sun rises at 4:30 am), got to mcdonalds so early (late?) that they weren't serving breakfast yet, and caught the first metro home.

"y'all want to go to the pool tomorrow?" pavel said as we parted ways at JZP. (he really meant "today." also, despite his czech name, he grew up in Georgia. so that should explain the y'alls.)

so a few hours later, we dragged ourselves in a hungover stupor down to the riverside to sunbathe. then we went out to dinner. then we went to akropolis for reggae night... and stayed out until sun up. again.

we saw pavel almost everyday that week, because that's what speed friendship requires. after less than 14 days, it's like we've been friends for years.

with anna and lori leaving in exactly two weeks (YIKES), all new friendships have got to be speed friendships. and it's fun. we started another speed friendship with tom, a guy we met wandering around in bratislava. at 2 pm we were introducing ourselves on the street, and by 6pm we were chipping in for a bottle of becherovka for the bus ride home.

i don't have a good conclusion for this post, as usual. i am the SNL of blogs. anyway, point is... watch out for us on the street. you may be the next victim of speed friendship.




*Chat Boy's and Fatteau are code names for two bars, Fat Boy's and Chateau, that are frequented by expats. They are on the same street, and situated in such a way that patrons of one bar often migrate to the other bar, sometimes with a drink in hand. if you say "let's go to Chat Boy's tonight" you are indicating that you'd like to go to Fat Boy's and then possibly to Chateau, or somewhere in between.

ginning up excitement for wagging the dog

while i may not have any real life credentials, in my head, at least, i like to consider myself an amateur linguist. this is a difficult hobby/pasttime/non-paying profession when you are immersed in a culture where you don't speak the language. every month we splurge on one or two books each to be passed around, and the extent of our magazine collection is the "US Weekly" and "Allure" that come in my mom's care package.

anyway, as soon as i got back onto american soil in june, i stopped at the newsstand at the cincinnati airport to load up on the monthly periodicals i'd been missing since moving to europe. namely, esquire to read chuck klosterman's column. but i picked up a vanity fair to add to the reading material, and an in style* to serve as a picture book.

needless to say we've been devouring this sudden wellspring of english-language journalism. during reading i've come across two interesting phrases, both from political articles.

the first is "gin up," used in the article "the cynic and senator obama," from esquire. Here's the sentence:

"...the Republicans masterfully used the threat of gay people getting married to gin up turnout where they needed it most."

i think the meaning is pretty clear from the context, but i looked it up just to be sure. the meaning is "to enliven, make more exciting" but it's seemingly also used as a synonym for create or generate. you can gin up turn out, gin up interest, or gin up a new way to do something. it comes from the phrase of the same meaning, to "ginger up," which is taken from a method of placing part of the ginger root under a horse's tail to make it perk up at shows. (info from various online etymology dictionaries, and the New York Times article On Language: Whitewater Words, which is full of awesome idioms coined in the Clinton era).

thought it doesn't have a political origin, it seems to be used quite often (okay, based on a cursory google search, but still) used in political headlines. such as:

FBI pressured to gin up Iraq-Al Qaeda links
Huckabee sweeps through SC to gin up support
NW Repubican: Hateful moonbats gin up fake outrage

next question, what is a hateful moonbat?

ANYWAY, the next one that caught my eye was "wag the dog," from The Last Good Campaign in Vanity Fair. The article about Bobby Kennedy's 1968 campaign contained the following sentence:

"Kennedy was concerned that, if he ran, an increasingly unstable Lyndon Johnson might 'wag the dog,' provoking an international crisis or even starting a war to upstage the challenger's candidacy."

so, obviously, wag the dog means to divert attention from one problematic event by creating another for the attention to be focused on. the phrase comes from the saying "a dog is smarter than his tail," and if he weren't, the tail would wag the dog. (Cambridge International Dictionary of Idioms). the most notable use of the phrase is in the movie Wag the Dog starring Dustin Hoffman, where i believe a fake war is launched to divert attention from a sex scandal (and who doesn't love dustin hoffman, really? for my money, movies featuring pirates, crocodiles and flying ageless men don't get better than Hook.)

so these are two phrases that i'm hoping will come into more common use. i'm planning to start ginning up excitement for lucerna this weekend on tuesday. and if any questionable events occur, i will certainly wag the dog on saturday afternoon by focusing attention on more important questions, such as how dark "kelly green" actually is or what an epic influence "google in your brain" would have on humanity.

yeehaw.




*why do i buy in style, really? i am not "in style" or really even close, for that matter. most days i don't wear make up. today i didn't wash my hair. and also, i wear jeans and t-shirts everyday. i guess it's wishful thinking. in my mind's eye, i see myself, someday, with the closet of carrie bradshaw.

miscellany

spelled that wrong.

trip for july so far is looking like:

poland
-auchwitz
-krackow
-warsaw
lithuania
-vilnius
latvia
-riga
estonia
-tallinn
finland
-helsinki

effing awesome. if we can find a way to do it cheaply... looks like it will be a combination of planes, trains, buses, automobiles and one ferry.


in other news:
-the beer garden is amazing.
-i decided my favorite steeler ever is norm johnson, place kicker, 1995-1998.
-i just joined last.fm and use it with the application "what i listen to" on facebook. i'm obsessed.
-i'm addicted to coke
-okay not the drug
-delta airlines sucks. i wish i could vow to never fly with them again, but they are so cheap.
-anthony kiedis was on my flight from pittsburgh to nyc.
-i'm boring.

ttyl.

blogging the pens

tmill and i liveblogged the first two periods of the penguins game on saturday night. because we were watching in squirrel hill, the posts can be found at 5534 Raleigh Street's blog.

we didn't blog the third period because we were all too busy trying to slit our wrists.

go pens.

I FORGOT...

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETZ!

PRETZEL MELT! TURKEY, PROVOLONE AND MAYONNAAAAAAISE!

I LOVE AMERICA!



GO PENS!