Saturday, January 03, 2009

liveblog: atlanta international airport

11:31. i arrived in Atlanta about an hour ago; i still have just a shade under 7 hours until my connecting flight leaves for Prague. i rode the cool little light rail train to Concourse E and situated myself at a Wi Fi Hot Spot in the food court. Atlanta is totally aware that it's 2009 and the internet should be ubiquitous and free. Awesome.

There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.

11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.

11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.

11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.

11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.

11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.

12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.

12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.

12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.

12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.

12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.

12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.

1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.

1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.

2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.

2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.

2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.

2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."

3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.

3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.

4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.

4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.

4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.

4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.

5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.

Peace be with yinz.

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