Sunday, March 29, 2009

and this 'book you cannot change

the more i think about it, i'm totally surprised that Obama was elected President this fall. you know why? because people HATE change.

but you say, no, Jen, you are totally wrong! we LOVE change! change is wonderful and exciting, especially in election years in democratic societies!

the same people who will someday tell their children and grandchildren about how they were part of an historic election that ushered in a new era of democracy*, who trudged to their local firehall or elementary school multi-purpose room on the first tuesday after the first monday in november 2008 and put their dirty fingers all over the smudged LCD screens of their states' shiny new electronic voting machines**, will say "we wanted change! and it was change that we got!"

they don't even realize they were totally lying.

how do i know?

all these people choose to spend their energy complaining about the facebook.***

a few weeks ago the facebook layout changed. again. it happens every six months or so, and it is always just radical enough to make people go UP. IN. ARMS. one morning you wake up, your wall is a little different, maybe the buttons for certain applications are in a different place, whatever, no big deal, but EVERYONE'S status is now "OH MY GOD I HATE THE NEW FACEBOOK, THIS IS TERRIBLE, MY WEEK IS RUINED, I THINK I'M GOING TO HANG MYSELF NOW :-(" or "UGH BRING BACK THE OLD FACEBOOK MARK ZUCKERBERG YOU DOUCHE BAG, I'M REALLY CONFUSED AND I CAN'T FIND THE BUTTON FOR SCRABULOUS!"

and then some genius with even more free time on his or her hands will create a group entitled "GO BACK TO THE OLD FACEBOOK, MARK ZUCKERBERG, YOU DOUCHE BAG, OR ELSE WE'LL ALL QUIT!"

here's the thing. who fucking cares? is it really going to inconvenience your life that much to click around and figure out where things are now? since most people are on the facebook about 8 hours a day anyway**** i bet you can have it down by lunch.

mark zuckerberg should tell everyone to shove it.

the submoral of the story is, if it bothers you that much, you should quit. but no one ever quits facebook.

the main moral of the story is, people hate change! if a new HTML script configured by some recent college grad in the Bay Area can ruin your day, how would you react to a change in SOCIETY***** that would actually affect your normal, day to day life in a meaningful way?

just make sure, future you, when you are proudly telling your children about how you wanted change so much that you voted for a Democrat, that you also explain how this crazy thing called the Facebook, on this old dinosaur called a computer, would ruin your week twice a year.

it's only fair.

*i suppose this remains to be seen, but bear with me for the sake of argument.
**i miss pulling levers
***i hate change so much i refuse to acknowledge mark zuckerberg's phase out of the definite article in his company's name
****you know you are, don't lie
*****i'm reserving judgment for now but we're operating on the assumption that this would happen

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